Tag Archives: women

The first girls to graduate from high school in Deh'Subz, an Afghan district outside Kabul. Photo by Beth Murphy, Principle Pictures.

Taught, Post-Taliban: A Review of What Tomorrow Brings

What Tomorrow Brings is an intimate portrait of a girls’ school in rural Afghanistan and the challenges its students face in trying to get an education.

In an early scene of What Tomorrow Brings, Pashtana, a seventh-grader at a girls’ school in rural Afghanistan, describes just how much her education means to her. “My biggest hope is to finish school,” she says, smiling brightly. “That’s how my life will turn the corner, and I’ll be on my way.”

Her smile fades. “But I’m worried there are people around me who will try to stop me.”

Continue reading Taught, Post-Taliban: A Review of What Tomorrow Brings

Chelsea Rudman is an international development professional and freelance writer who lives in Washington, DC. Her writing has previously been published in the NY Press and Matador Travel.

 

Who’s that lady?

Do you know a woman who is super exceptional? Perhaps a brilliant go-getter? A devout do-gooder? Or even just an all-around great gal?

Glamour wants to know about her. Between now and August 19, the magazine is accepting nominations for everyday women — community leaders, friends, colleagues, teachers, even editors — who inspire you. To learn more about Glamour‘s search for the Woman Of Your Year, click here. Or, if you just can’t wait to nominate a certain someone, by all means, go for it.

 

Mirror, mirror…

 

This afternoon my two sons and I saw the newly released Fantastic Four. At the risk of sounding plebian, I found that I enjoyed the movie, which had a bit more of a plot than its original. Another surprise was my unexpected fascination with the actress, Jessica Alba. There are some films and some actors that absolutely captivate me. Meryl Streep immediately comes to mind. Her beauty, voice, and inner motivation make her compelling to watch. Jessica Alba is no Meryl. What I found so striking about her was her unrealness. About five minutes into the movie, I turned to my ten-year-old and asked, "Does she look normal to you?" I must admit, his "Huh?" and look of "What are you talking about?" left me a bit concerned. For in today's world, Jessica looked anything but normal. Her blue eyes with visible contact lenses, her blonde hair bleached the color of straw, her endowed breasts perched on top of an extremely slender body all made Barbie look almost human. Yet to my ten-year-old, her appearance left no mark on the landscape, her face just another face in the crowd.

Later I asked my twelve-year-old what he thought about Jessica's appearance. "She looked strange," Sam replied. "How so?" I asked. "Her face wasn't right." We discussed this for a bit and came to the agreement that her eyes in particular kind of freaked us both out. Now I admit, growing up Hispanic in a white neighborhood, I truly envied my blue-eyed, blonde-haired cousins and, yes, I was tempted to try colored contacts when they first arrived. Truth be told, it was more likely my adverse reaction to contact lenses in general than any deeply-held feminist beliefs that kept my brown eyes brown. What saddens me is how little has changed in the last twenty years. It seems that even with all the positive female role models a young woman can choose from, the strong pull to be blonde and blue-eyed remains. I suppose part of it is the fascination with trying something new, becoming a different and maybe slightly better version of yourself. All pontifications aside, what will it take for us to be satisfied with ourselves? Can such a world even exist? After all, it is that human drive within us all that has allowed us to touch the moon, to unravel the mysteries of our bodies, to question. If there is a line to cross, we have surely crossed it, for striving towards perfection has erased our blemishes, turning our very selves into one acceptable model.

So, to the Jessicas out there, I say you are who you are: one sperm, one egg, one you. If that isn't cool, I don't know what is. Enough said, my roots are showing.  

 

Sticks and stones

 

This morning during breakfast I was reading an article out of The Washington Post National Weekly Edition to my son.  The article, entitled "A Plea to Keep Families Together," discussed the realities faced by children born in the U.S. of illegal immigrants.  As I am prone to do, I shared my opinion with my son, to which he replied, "Why don't you email the president and tell him what you think?" "What a good idea," I answered.  My son, looking quite thoughtful, then said, "Oh, mom, George Bush probably won't like your email, so he might put you in jail; maybe you'd better not send one."  Lucky me, a lesson on the freedom of America just fell into my lap.  "Well, you know sweetie, in America you are free to have your own opinion and say what you think."  The words were barely out of my mouth when images of Don Imus entered my head.

Now I have no interest in Don Imus.  Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have recognized his name, although I think I once saw a picture of him.  I happened to come across his comment about the Rutgers's women's basketball team while I was waiting for my car to be serviced.  The gasp I made caused my older son to look up from his Gameboy wanting to know what I had read.  I slid the paper to him and watched as his eyes widened.  "This is not 1892," he said, "It's 2007, what's wrong with this guy?"  I beamed at my son's response, patted myself for raising a sensitive child, and did not once utter a word about free speech in America.

I can tell you why I didn't stand up for Don Imus; it goes back to my freshman year in college.  I was standing in line for the Rocky Horror Picture Show with my boyfriend.  A man and a woman probably in their mid-forties, about my age now, got into an altercation with a 16-year-old girl.  As the argument became heated, the man suddenly yelled out, "You are nothing but a c–t."  The hairs on my arms stood up and, as my disgust turned to anger, I yelled back, "I can't believe a grown man like you would say that to a young girl.  You offended not only her, you offended me and every other woman here, even your own friend!"  As I moved towards him, my boyfriend grabbed my arm, stepping between myself and the man.  The man opened his mouth to say something, stopped and turned away. I'd like to think my words had something to do with his change in attitude, but it was probably the glare my boyfriend aimed at him that shut him up.

That is why at 44 I find myself at a crossroads.  I'm fed up and disgusted with a culture that allows women to be treated with contempt disguised as art.  I know why I wasn't aware of Don Imus  one listen and I would have changed the station.  So I ask myself, why isn't that enough now?  After all ,no one has to listen to a Don Imus or watch a Mel Gibson.  The thought is if enough people stop listening and watching, the individuals will be minimized, eventually fading into the background.  So is it censure when CBS fires Don Imus?  Is it a response from the American public, fed up with an anything-goes media?  What does freedom of speech really mean? 

For myself, I am going to take a stand.  I cherish my right to have an opinion, to know that I can disagree with others, even the president, and not end up in a cell somewhere. The right to voice an opinion, however, is not a blank check to hurt others.  Calling young women who have just won a victory a derogatory name is not an opinion; it is simply a man trying to put women in their place, someone seeking approval by hurting others.  I want my children to know that those who came before them died for their freedom to make their own choices in the world.  I want my children to know that I will fight to protect the rights that we have been given. Most importantly, I want my children to know that words can hurt and no amount of "sorrys" can take them back.         

               

 

Life’s not-so- little ironies

 

As the war in Iraq continues, the media focus intensifies.  From highlighting the courage of the individuals who serve, to figuring out just how many troops will be needed and for how long, the media attempts to paint a picture for those of us less affected by the war.

Like a canvas the front page of Tuesday's New York Times informs that the Army's "ready" brigade, a part of the 82nd Airborne Division that has been kept on 24 hour alert for decades, is not as fit as it used to be.  As the members of the First Brigade of the 82nd Airborne Division, prepare for a tour in Iraq, they find themselves not fully trained, their equipment scattered, unable to meet their standard of deploying several hundred soldiers to a war zone within 18 hours.  Currently, about 50% of the Army's 43 active duty combat brigades,  each consisting of 3,500 soldiers, are serving overseas.  Upon meeting the White House's demand for additional troops, the Army will have a total of 17 brigades deployed to Iraq, two brigades will be in Afghanistan, and four will be deployed to various overseas locations.

Hiding in the background, is an idea by Commerce Secretary Carlos M. Gutierrez's staff, to pressure the Iraqi government to stop giving people monthly food rations.  This suggestion set off a major dispute between Commerce and the State Department.  According to this week's National Edition of The Washington Post, the Iraqi government spends about four billion per year to provide basic rations to all Iraqis regardless of need.  A former embassy official further emphasized the lack of desire on the part of Iraqi politicians to end the distribution of free food.  As Commerce continues to insist on its idea, the irrelevancy of the plan is noted, "I can't tell you how many hundreds of hours everyone has wasted on this issue, when there were all sorts of more productive things they could have been doing with their time," stated one former embassy official.            

          

In small brushstokes, February's Fitness Magazine shares the story of how two women, who have lost their husbands in Iraq, use running to remember their husbands and heal their grief.    

Front and center, the soldier frozen on the cover of last Sunday's The New York Times Magazine challenges readers to discover the trauma suffered by female American soldiers deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Tucked in the right back corner, the OP-ED pages of this week's The Washington Post's National Weekly Edition, give life to former senator Alan K. Simpson's support to overturning the ban on gay service in the military. 

In a signature moment, co host Joy Behar of The View , earlier this week pointed out that it is the men and women of the Armed services and their families that are actually making the sacrifices in the war on Iraq.  During a discussion of Iraqi policy, Joy Behar emphasized her opinion that Americans as a whole have not been asked to make any sacrifices in support of the war effort.

Whether we find it in magazines, newspapers, or interviews, the word on Iraq, the war, its citizens, our American soldiers; is irony.  As the Army faces the difficult prospect of having to return some of its brigades to Iraq with less than a year's training and recuperation, more than 300 hundred language experts have been dismissed under the government's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  Government agencies who have been asked to work together to resolve problems facing the Iraqi nation; instead end up in their own turf wars.  A couple train for a triathlon yet it is only the wife who crosses the finish line.  Her husband, an Army officer serving in Iraq, killed by a car bomb during a routine check.  Soldiers, carrying the burden of their gender, feel pressured to remain tough, less emotional, to show the world that yes; women can serve in a war zone; find themselves enduring and hiding sexual abuse from their male superiors. 

Each day the sacrifices pile up, careers lost, women made widows long before their time, sleep broken by nightmares, time wasted.  A burden shouldered by a few, images and words to the rest of us.  Yes, the sacrifices are out there, like weeds in the summer, just waiting for someone to pay them mind.                  

 

Rape is America’s four-letter word

It isn't the woman walking through a dark alley way or the woman who "wants it" who becomes the next victim of rape and sexual assault. It isn't a woman deemed sexy by middle-class society. The assailant isn't large, black, and waiting for her, and he isn't a stranger in most cases. These are the myths surrounding rape and sexual assault that cloud our media and further attack men and women who are victims of this violent crime. With such hefty assumptions furthered daily by the mainstream, it should be no shock that rape is the violent crime that goes unreported most often.

Statistics abound regarding the numbers of women affected by rape and sexual assault. The predominant statistic circulated among rape educators reads “1 in 4 women will be affected by sexual assault or rape in her lifetime.” That is 25 percent of roughly half the world’s population – 25 percent that will be violated in some way by another person against her consent, against her will.
The legal system is failing our victims, failing our men and women by taking one of the most devastating violent actions and getting it caught up in the bureaucracy of legal red tape. A woman in Florida reported a rape, but instead of following through with the prosecution of the incident, she was jailed when a former warrant surfaced. A statement by the Florida college student also says an employee of the jail refused to administer a second dose of the “morning after” pill.

The woman received an apology from the Tampa police, according to the article, but it doesn’t remove the devastation.

Instead of consoling victims, or helping those who brave their own fears and report a rapist, we as a society too often chastise them, smear their names in the media and dehumanize them even further.

Have you looked at the Duke lacrosse rape case ? Perhaps, a better question would be “Who hasn’t?” Though the facts of the altercation are grey at best, given the intense media campaign coupled with commentary by leaders in all walks of life.

This case, beyond any other, has made it painfully clear that the American nation needs a shift in mentalities when it comes to victims of rape and sexual assault. Immediately, this woman’s claim was lessened because of two key factors and perhaps misconceptions when it comes to speaking about rape and sexual assault. First, society discredited this woman because of her deviant profession – an exotic dancer. As a sex worker of sorts, it was believed that she could not be raped. A career choice, made for whatever reason, does not take away a woman’s ability to give consent.

Secondly, the woman involved was a woman of color accusing young white men from a prestigious university. The combination of the two factors built a case against her in the public eye, regardless of other issues in the case. All of the cards were already against her.

I can imagine the fear that goes along with such a situation, in knowing that no one is going to believe you, yet persisting with identifying high-profile sexual assailants. Am I saying that I, without a shadow of a doubt, believe in this woman’s claims, inconsistent story and all? No. But, the vast majority of survivors or victims of sexual assault and rape do not lie about their experiences. I owe her the same benefit of the doubt.

Rape isn’t only a woman’s issue and never should have been assigned to that domain. The violent act itself is most commonly perpetrated by men against women, and that in and of itself is enough to break down the stereotype that men “don’t have to worry about it.” The chilling statistic that declares that 1 in every 12 men will be raped or sexually assaulted adds to the mounting case that society is ultimately dismissing a horrible phenomenon, that at one point or another, will affect most people in the country in some way or another. It is fortunate that each individual in this country will not have to deal with the atrocities of rape and sexual assault personally. However, in some way or another, most will be touched through the life of a survivor – a sister, mother, aunt, grandmother, best friend, partner, or other individual. Rape is not something we can close our eyes to.

Rape and America’s inconsistent, at best, attitude towards it didn’t disappear with the 20th century. It still exists and will continue to do so until someone says it’s time for the violence, the legal bias, the media judgement, and the acceptance to stop.

The longer we treat rape as a four-letter word, unspeakable except for in hushed tones, the more victims will amount and the fiercer battle we create for ourselves as human beings.