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Becoming nice

The Canadian assimilation of a girl from Prague.

People rarely travel on foot in the sprawling suburbs of Ottawa, unless they’re newly arrived immigrants, who don’t own a car.

It takes a lot to put the people of Ottawa into a bad mood. They shovel driveways in temperatures well below freezing, and they don’t mind. If an ice storm tears down the power lines, they cheerily start up their emergency generators and go right back to doing whatever had occupied them before. After enduring a long, dreary winter in the nondescript Canadian capital, when most of the snow has melted, locals rejoice, don shorts over goose-pimpled, raw-pink flesh and celebrate the advent of spring. If the temperature happens to dip into the low 30s a few more times, no one complains.

Because in Ottawa people are nice. That was one of the first things I noticed upon my arrival 15 years ago with my family from Czechoslovakia.

The second thing I noticed was that Ottawa didn’t have any skyscrapers. The huddle of 10-story governmental buildings and the empty, immaculately clean streets that made up Ottawa’s downtown proved sorely disappointing for someone expecting the bustle of a New York or Chicago. I was hungry for all the American clichés: soft drinks, wide, busy streets, oversized cars and greasy hamburgers. What I got was a watered down Canadian broth.

On the other hand, the people were so nice and cheerful, I wondered if they were trying to compensate for the blandness of their hometown. Unlike Czech parents, Canadians don’t spank their kids when they throw tantrums in the middle of the street. And shopkeepers don’t scowl the way cashiers in Prague’s supermarkets usually do. Instead, they bare their shiny white teeth, give each customer a highly personalized smile and say something kind like “have a good one” or “please come again.” Of course, having virtually no knowledge of English, I didn’t understand any of these courteous phrases or anything else that was being said around me, for that matter. Words melted into one another, and sentences sounded like mystical incantations, sing-songy and drawn out, unlike the harsher tones of my native language.

At nine, I hardly shared my mother’s thrill about leaving the then-still-communist Czechoslovakia for a democratic country. Where she saw clean sidewalks, well-stocked shops and tidy rows of cute, identical suburban houses, I saw only disappointment.    

I initially consoled myself with the belief that this was all just temporary. We had come for a two-month visit to see my father, who had spent the past year working as a visiting professor at the local psychiatric hospital.

A week later my mother asked me what I would think if we were to stay in Ottawa forever. I said I wouldn’t like it.

The parliament building, which houses Canada’s federal government, is the city’s main tourist attraction. It was one of the first places we visited in Ottawa.

Fake vacation

At first, I found our vacation only mildly depressing. It had stopped raining, and the weather became warmer, but the trees that lined the city’s tidy boulevards remained bare.

Eventually, we moved into a newly-built apartment in one of the city’s suburbs. The beige wall-to-wall carpet smelled antiseptic like my grandfather’s Russian car. The walls were bare and blinding white. My fears were momentarily lulled by the newness of it all but I began to panic when I realized that it was official: we were staying. Temporary had become forever.

Only several years later did I learn that the vacation had been just a pretext for gaining permission to leave Czechoslovakia. Our home country was still in the throes of the communist regime — this was 1989, six months before the Velvet Revolution — and emigration was illegal.

Casually, as though they were telling me that I could no longer spread butter on my toast, my parents informed me that we might not see our friends and relatives for a very long time. No one knew when — if ever –— we’d be allowed to return to Prague.

In any case, I had more pressing matters to worry about: English, above all else. The closer it came to the beginning of the school year, the shorter my nails got. I tried to approach the situation rationally. I knew for a fact that I would never learn to speak the language, so I tried my best to mentally prepare myself for a life spent in mute isolation, surrounded by well-meaning, forever-smiling Canadians.

Nice girls don’t punch

Why did those Canadians have to smile so much, anyway? At school kids smiled at teachers, and teachers smiled at kids. They all smiled at me. I answered by giving them a by-now-well-practiced look meant to convey confusion or at least to spare me the effort of trying to piece together a semi-coherent response.

Some cultural differences proved harder to comprehend than others. Take the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for instance. It took me months just to wrap my mind around the concept of eating spongy white bread smeared with a mixture of salty brown goo and sweet pink jelly. Or cereal. What was the trick to eating it quickly enough so that the flakes wouldn’t become soggy? All the food tasted quite strange, in fact. And for a while, my normally ravenous appetite left me altogether.

At school, being something of a curiosity, I got plenty of attention from my classmates, so my visions of isolation didn’t materialize. But the attention I received as a foreigner didn’t keep me from feeling isolated, as when my teacher assigned me a reader one grade level below. The cover of the ugly green book depicted clowns tossing around inflated balloons. Compared to the other kids’ readers, it looked impossibly childish, and, limited English proficiency notwithstanding, I was disgusted.

But it didn’t matter because most of my English lessons took place outside the classroom anyway.

I learned the language by appropriating new phrases, just mimicking the sound of other people’s speech without distinguishing between the different words. I roughly knew what each new phrase meant, such as one of the first sentences I learned: “Have a nice weekend.”

But it took me a while to adapt to the culture of niceness. During school yard games, for instance, when I kicked a boy in the shin after he destroyed a sandcastle that I had built with the other kids, a few of the girls took me aside and explained that this was bad. It wasn’t nice to kick boys in their shins. Not having the linguistic skills to argue, I just nodded dumbly.

Mute agreement soon became the way I dealt with most situations. During school lunch break, when no one wanted to be left turning the end of the skipping rope, I would do it, mostly because I couldn’t argue my way out, but also because it was the nice thing to do.

Being nice was becoming addictive. It meant you didn’t have to explain anything, people approved of you, and they generally left you alone.

Eventually, the language situation improved, and the culture gap shrank. By the end of the year, my family and I were beginning to feel settled, and I was promoted from the green clown reader to a far more sophisticated looking one with a black and white cover. Yet even though I no longer relied on niceness as a protection mechanism, somehow, it stuck.

I learned to add the tag “How are you?” after every greeting. And when boys destroyed our sandcastles, I didn’t punch anyone. Instead, I ran away screaming with all the other girls.

In short, I had become nice.

Ottawa’s ByWard Market is by far the most colorful part of the city.

You can take the girl out of Canada …

It would be four years before we returned to Prague for a visit. Friends and relatives had been sending us excited letters about the first free elections, about shopping at Tesco and not having to wait in line for shopping carts, about buying oranges and bananas every day of the week. We saw photographs and postcards of Prague — the same cobble-stoned streets lined with crumbling historical buildings, but now those buildings were covered with colorful ads for cereal and hamburgers and dishwashing detergent. It looked cheerful, I thought — even reminiscent of North America. But it didn’t look like home.

We went to Prague in early June when everything looked fresh and new. The grass in parks, the billboards lining the streets, the shelves in supermarkets — they all formed a colorful, albeit confusing, collage. But after a four-year absence, I couldn’t find my way around the city. Even more confusingly, although I spoke Czech fluently, I was finding it difficult to communicate with Czechs. When, for instance, after paying, I would tell shopkeepers to have a nice day, they regarded me with uncomprehending suspicion. I was distraught by this at first and began to feel that maybe, just maybe, I had become too nice for my own good.

I spent the two-month visit counting the days until my return to Ottawa. But then, back in Ottawa, oddly enough, I found myself nostalgic for the rude shopkeepers and the harsh, careless drawl of the Prague accent.
.
Over the next few years, I traveled back and forth — physically and mentally — between the two cities. In Ottawa, I sometimes felt like a Czech tourist, considering the friendly manner of the locals to be annoying and insincere. In Prague, meanwhile, I was pegged as the perpetually-smiling Canadian.

There is a Czech saying: however many languages you speak, that’s how many times you are a person. Sometimes I wonder if, instead of being about Czech appreciation of multilingualism, the saying is actually a warning about fragmentation. Since I left Ottawa, at age 19, I haven’t been back since. It takes a long time to recover from niceness.  Sometimes, I still have a relapse.

 

Exposing themselves

Dr. James Dobson: Undercover agent of homosexual propaganda.

(Rich Tenorio)

The following is the transcript of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of the Homosexual Agenda (AAA-HA!), at the presentation of the Tinky-Winky Agenda Teamwork award, presented by RuPaul to Dr. Dobson of Focus on the Family, in recognition of his outstanding service as an Undercover Agent of Homosexual Propaganda

[Cheers, applause]

[RuPaul] Thank you. Thank you.

Today I am honored to present Dr. James Dobson with the Tinky-Winky Agenda Teamwork award in recognition of his ongoing efforts to portray America’ s Homophobes as ludicrous, spiteful, clinically paranoid semi-morons. Soon, thanks to efforts like his, America’ s homophobes will have worked themselves up to such an absurd frenzy of paranoia that their antics will be the fodder for late-night comedy and reality TV alike.  

Imagine it: Homophobe Factor where buxom young homophobes face challenges like sitting through gay-friendly programming while wearing gender-inappropriate clothing! Watch them squirm will be a national pastime!

[Whooping, ebullient cries of “You go, girlfriend!”]

But before we continue with the award ceremony, I have been asked to make an announcement. Will the owner of the Fred Phelps inflatable doll that was found in the back room please reclaim it directly after the ceremony? Mr. Phelps could not be with us tonight, as he is busy furthering our Agenda by harassing schoolchildren and updating his godhatesfags.com website linking the tsunami tragedy to God’ s wrath over homosexuality. Mr. Phelps should be acknowledged for his tireless work at portraying Homophobic America as a bunch of spittle-spewing freaks. It is nice to know that he is here tonight in spirit-and evidently in latex-though, not in body.

Now, to the business at hand. Dr. Dobson, please come to the stage to accept your award.  

Dr. Dobson jogs onstage to the tune “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate.

RuPaul  We at AAA-HA! would like to present you with this Tinky-Winky Agenda Teamwork award in everlasting gratitude for your efforts on our behalf.  Let me point out that this is no sanitized Oscar. This Tinky-Winky replica is anatomically correct for your pleasure. We have gone the extra mile in creating this just for you-please note the removable pink feather boa which can make a stunning addition to anyone’ s wardrobe. The entire thing is machine-washable. We have done all this because we could not have asked for a better partner and look forward to a long and profitable future with you in our ongoing Compulsory Homosexuality for America’ s Next Generation (CHANG) program.

Dr. Dobson — by the way, I loooove the sequin pasties you’ re wearing! Did you wax your chest especially for us? Can I touch? Thank you.

Ahem. Excuse me; I’ m getting a little flushed. But, I’ m here to present this award, not fondle the honoree. So, Dr. Dobson, in presenting this award, we wish to acknowledge your important contribution to advancing the Homosexual Agenda by launching patently pernicious attacks on innocent cartoon characters in the tradition of Jerry Falwell’ s fabulous flap over Tinky-Winky, the “gay” Teletubby.  

Dr. Dobson reaches for the trophy, but RuPaul dangles it just out of reach

Before I give this to you, though, I have to ask the question that I am sure is on everyone’ s mind this evening: How did you know that SpongeBob would present such a ripe opportunity to expose the hypocrisy of our enemies, Traditional Families?

Dr. Dobson Well, RuPaul, as you know, I’ m a doctor. And I knew that when I singled out SpongBob Squarepants, who is of course a sponge, for trying to brainwash the nation’ s children into accepting the Homosexual Agenda, Mr. Squarepants’ hermaphrodism would ultimately come to light.  

RuPaul Of course! Everyone knows that sponges are hermaphrodites, and if Mr. Squarepants portrays hermaphrodism as a normal and acceptable lifestyle-how could you not speak out against the Hermaphroditic Agenda? How could you, church-going and morally-upright Heterosexual that you are, not denounce such a thing?  

Dobson Exactly! And when I saw that Mr. SquarePants would be participating in a children’ s video dancing with Clifford the Big Red Dog and Barney the Dinosaur to the to the tune, “We Are Family”, I immediately set about calling the video sinister, exhorting people to express their “shock and outrage” at the appalling message. And of course, everything went exactly according to plan.  Homophobes everywhere reached for their phones to make piously outraged calls denouncing the cartoon characters and their nefarious influence on children. It’ s only a matter of time before they start campaigning against the unnatural lifestyles of sponges! I hope to announce someday soon the nationwide homophobe boycott of dishwashing for its apparent link to aberrant sexual behavior.

RuPaul Well, you are just a genius, aren’ t you! But lest we forget how far we’ ve come, we should acknowledge that our alliance has not always been smooth sailing. Things didn’ t always go so neatly according to plan. Do you remember your idea to put anti-gay marriage initiatives on swing-state ballots?  

Dobson Yeah, we’ d have to say that backfired. The glorious irony of talking about family values “marriage promotion,” then turning around to outlaw gay marriage was too subtle for our enemies, Traditional Families. Unfortunately, they seemed almost eager to overlook that inconsistency, and rather than cowering in their homes, too embarrassed and confused by their own hypocrisy to show their homophobic faces in public, they turned out in droves to enact anti-gay initiatives.

RuPaul Still we must persist-and we will prevail! Of course we expect minor setbacks like these in a program as grand and far-reaching as CHANG. I know I speak for everyone here when I say how glad I am that even after the marriage debacle, we decided to give you the benefit of the doubt! People will be laughing about your SpongeBob brouhaha for years to come!

Dobson I appreciate that, but I’ d like to give credit where credit is due — I wasn’ t the first to suggest targeting Mr. Squarepants. Alan A. Sears, please stand up.  

[The crowd erupts in wolf whistles as Mr. Sears rises, clad in a studded leather dog collar and latex pants.]

RuPaul Of course! Mr. Sears of the Alliance Defense Fund [shouts of, “Yeah, baby!”] Mr. Sears was the first to see that Mr. Squarepants was a ripe target for our plot as early as last summer. Thank you, Mr. Sears. You make take your seat.  

Unfortunately for Mr. Sears —  and why you, Dr. Dobson, are onstage today accepting the Tinky Winky Agenda Teamwork award — the timing was not quite right. You — you somehow knew to wait until the We Are Family video came out.  What made the video such a good tool?  

[DD]  Two words, RuPaul: “Tolerance and diversity.” I know, at first you weren’ t sure you wanted to unmask them for what they were, “buzzwords for homosexual advancement”, as I called them. You kept asking me, “Why should we risk exposing the truth?” But calling that phrase, so upright and innocent-sounding, “pernicious propaganda” was right-on in portraying the paranoia of Homophobic America. Thanks to our brave forbearers, the PC Police of the 1980s, “tolerance and diversity”are standards of American values as unassailable as mom and apple pie. When the homophobes come out frothing against those values, they appear loonier than the ’ toons they’ re attacking.

RuPaul Well, you know what they say, Dr. Dobson: “Just ’ cuz you’ re paranoid, doesn’ t mean they’ re not out to get you!”

[uproarious laughing from the audience]

In closing, I’ d just like to say it takes a special man to expose the Hypocrisy of the Homophobes as artfully as you, Dr. Dobson, have done. We may never fully understand the vision you had that Joseph Chambers lacked when he attacked beloved muppets, Burt and Ernie. Or why even the Tinky-Winky kerfuffle lacked the staying power of your Spongebob sputterings. Even Fred Phelps’  diabolical diatribes have failed where you succeeded most beautifully-though as far as I know there is not a line of Dr. Dobson inflatable dolls. But we’ ll work on that!

Until that time, Dr. Dobson, please accept this Tinky Winky Agenda Teamwork award.  You, above all, deserve it.

 

Homecoming for Hai Rong

A 16-year-old's uneasy navigation of China's city/country divide.

The homecoming migrant and the author enjoyed a sweltering slow train to Shandong.

The three-wheeled wagon ground to a halt before a sprawling green and bronze field. So concluded the vehicular portion of the trip: 20 hours by rickety railcar from Shanghai to Shandong Province, several hours by bus to the city of Jilin, another few hours in a rickety van to the county of Jia Xiang, where we hitched a ride on a primitive wagon to a small village omitted from most maps.

Now, our driver took one look at the 600 meters of lumpy mud ahead of him, the result of a recent rainstorm, and told us he could go no further. My friend Hai Rong and I would make the final stretch of the migrant’s long pilgrimage to the “lao jia,” or home village, on foot.

Hai Rong, the migrant I was following home, had traveled over 1200 miles and 30 hours to arrive at the family farm — from China’s richest and most dazzling metropolis to a rural heartland that was displaying the first budding signs of Reform-Era modernization. I had come along for the ride, and was now finding myself nearly spent before we got to the front door.

Each step in the soft brown muck felt laden with anticipation. Hai Rong was exhausted, but energized by the thought of being home again after six months of working and living on her own in Shanghai. In a wrinkled white blouse and dusty black skirt, towing plastic bags of gifts and food she had purchased in the local town, the 16-year-old stepped briskly toward her destination: a simple cement compound at the end of the road. I tried to keep pace with her, but lacked her motivation as the weight of my camcorder and backpack mired me in the pasty mud.

Beaming, Hai Rong said that she had a feeling her mother hadn’t slept all night. She just knew, the same way her mother must have known that her daughter had been too excited to sleep the night before the journey. And though her mother had no way of knowing when we would arrive — our train had been delayed several hours — she appeared in the distance just as we neared the settlement. “That’s a mother’s love,” Hai Rong said.

Having traversed an immeasurable distance, the blossoming 16-year-old with a doll face and a ponytail was greeting her mother for the first time in months. The spunky peasant matriarch’s square face crinkled in wind-worn rapture.

The still farmlands of Shandong speed past the train windows.

Paying your dues, Shanghai-style

Like many other youth from the countryside, Hai Rong had left her vocational high school a few months earlier to “da gong” or work in the city — the only way for girls like her to earn a decent living and a chance at leaving the village. Lured by the freedom of living independently, she turned down her mother’s offer to pay for some basic vocational training in her hometown. The city seemed to hold better possibilities.

Once she arrived in Shanghai, Hai Rong found herself interlaced in a network of transplanted relatives. Her older brother, two cousins, and three uncles, all lived in the same part of the city, and had all left the village to pursue Shanghai’s promise of a decent living. Her uncle, a former truck driver running a struggling food distribution business from his tiny apartment, grudgingly agreed to look after her along with her other cousins, but his own financial troubles, along with his temper, made him a less-than-ideal surrogate parent.

As is often the case in urban China’s bustling migrant labor market, Hai Rong landed her first job through a relative: Her cousin set her up as a waitress at a hotpot restaurant. From there, she switched to another hotpot restaurant down the street, a flashier place with a seedy disco and private rooms for rent on the top floor. When the restaurant suddenly shut down, she became a cashier at Happy Island, an Internet and computer game bar with branches all over Shanghai.

Happy Island, unfortunately, had a shady side. Her coworkers had a habit of taking money from the register when she wasn’t looking. Frightened that the boss would blame her if he discovered money was missing, she used her own cash to make up the difference. When he eventually discovered the truth, her boss refused to let her quit and rewarded her honesty with a few days off instead. Hai Rong took this opportunity to escape the city for a while.

Back from Shanghai, Hai Rong greets her mother for the first time in
months.

Escaping backwards

The night before her departure for her lao jia, Hai Rong invited me to come with her. I had heard stories about village life in China; people had told me that a city girl like myself wouldn’t be able to stand it. So I decided that the countryside would test me the same way the city had tested Hai Rong.  

My first challenge arrived by rail — the slow train to Shandong. I struggled against delirium in the heavy Sweltering air, laden with the odor of cheap cigarettes and the sweat of people packed into every square inch. Hai Rong sat quiet and composed in her white blouse and somewhat rumpled knee-high stockings.

She’d always been the more obedient child, she told me. Her mother worried less about her soaking up bad influences in the city than about her older brother, who has a more rebellious temperament. Like many other village parents, Hai Rong’s mother and father, who barely had a grade school education and never left the countryside, saw the city as both an alluring galaxy of prosperity and a nebulous black hole that threatened to swallow their children. That she would “get polluted,” Hai Rong said, was her mother’s main fear.

While Shanghai symbolized escape to her, it also served as a different kind of cage. She had no close friends, and her uncle had taken it upon himself to make sure she was not corrupted by urban life. She enraged him by going to a disco with her cousin one night. Warning her that she would “xue huai,” or pick up bad ways, in that kind of environment, he forbid her from going again.

Nonetheless, Hai Rong’s de-rustification process was inevitable; her family could curb her behavior but not her questioning mind. She told me one night as I walked with her to her worker dormitory that she had no way of communicating with her parents. They lived in a different world, she lamented. “There’s no common language.”

But when we first arrived at her village, the language barriers and parental pressures seemed to evaporate temporarily in the tranquil atmosphere. We followed her softly smiling mother through a maze of alleys overgrown with grass, through the wide wooden doorway of Hai Rong’s home into a small courtyard, where a sheet of wheat kernels dried in the sun on the cement floor.

Hai Rong’s mother told us in a thick Shandong dialect, that just before we arrived, a rainstorm had damaged the power line for the village. We would be without electricity for a few days. Thankfully the 20-hour slow-roasting train from Shanghai had prepared me well for stifling heat.

Hai Rong’s return drew a small crowd of spectators: There were a few elderly people, including her paternal grandmother, and a few children, but most people were in their 30s or 40s. Noticeably absent were people of Hai Rong’s age. Her village is typical of the Chinese countryside near booming coastal cities; children are sent away for school for as long as they have the money and the willingness to study, and then they leave home to work.

Hai Rong proudly gestured to her home’s small luxuries, for which she had a new appreciation after five months of cramped, shabby city living: the date tree at the center of her small yard, fresh grapes ripening on a bush by the entrance, and in the back, vines bearing cucumbers and beans. Everything was free, she boasted. You couldn’t even buy these beans in Shanghai markets.

Now that she was home again, Hai Rong was momentarily liberated from economic worries. In Shanghai she counted every penny and struggled to save some money for her parents. Tasting a bit of Shanghai’s wealth enhanced the bitterness of her poverty, while returning to her village made her feel rich.

In a way, she was. The main room of their home exemplified the rising standard of living among many Chinese peasants, bright and gaudily furnished with mirrors and glossy wooden furniture. A large color television was enthroned prominently on the wooden cabinet, alongside a worn-out karaoke mixer.

Hai Rong presented the gifts she had dutifully bought on the way home. To the sound of cracking lychee nuts and the sucking of ripe peaches, Hai Rong’s grandmother, aunt and mother sat with us in the living room and questioned Hai Rong about Shanghai. Was the pay good enough? What kind of work was she doing? Which was better, Shanghai or the village?

Hai Rong answered patiently. “Shanghai has its good parts and so does this place,” she answered diplomatically. But she added, “Everything is more convenient there.” (I soon had an intimate understanding of this when I discovered that the bathroom for the next few days was a brick-walled compost area behind their garden.)

She took me on a walk through a wooded hillside where she had played as a child. Every time she passed something familiar, she would ask me whether I thought it was pretty.

“It’s not as beautiful as it was before,” she said. It had changed. Or perhaps she had.

She feared that people would say she had changed for the worse. “I’m so glad they didn’t say I gained weight,” she said as we walked around the back alley toward her grandmother’s house. “I don’t know why, I’m just always worried about that.”

But Hai Rong had little to be self-conscious about; her homecoming injected a vitality into the sleepy village bereft of youth.

Her mother was motivated to cook for the first time in months. Usually, she just ate a few bowls of noodles to sustain her through the day. She saved the vegetables in the garden for when her children or husband were home. The younger generation seemed to be the only thing that propelled people to act.

Her village undulated to the rhythms of housework, the seasons, and the family. In Shanghai, by contrast, Hai Rong had entered an existence of atomized modernity. At work, she spent the day in the dimly lit anonymity of the Happy Island, watching bored urban youth while away hours playing video games or chatting online.

But in her village, the empty spaces of urban culture were replaced with empty lulls in conversations with family. She suddenly realized that she was now “not as talkative” as she was before she left; the right words eluded her. Now, when she was with her neighbors and family, she said, “I get annoyed. I don’t want to talk to them … When I respond to their questions, I feel tired, out of energy.”

“When I was younger, I was really rowdy,” she recalled, but her few months in the city had aged her, made her more aloof.

Hai Rong told me that night that she felt like there was no point in staying home for too long. She would go home in a couple of days.

That night, I glimpsed all three members of the family huddled around the bed in the living room, chatting aimlessly in the dark with a sweet intimacy that had eluded all of them for months. But the tranquility of the scene belied the fact that there would be few moments like these for the duration of their lives — maybe none. Economic realities did not permit the luxury of reunification.

A typical backyard in a village household.

Going to town

Hai Rong felt she was of little practical value around the house, since her parents, perhaps in their determination to get the children off the farm, had never taught them how to tend crops. Her presence, however, inspired her mother to get off the farm herself, at least for a day.

The next day, she and her mother pushed their small red motorcycle through half a kilometer of clay-like mud to get onto the only paved road that cut through the village. Every few meters, the two would pause, sweating in the roasting sun, and grab a stick to shove the mud out from between the spokes. I skulked behind them, ashamed yet relieved that my status as the foreign guest exempted me from this duty.

The town, the axis and commercial center around which local rural areas revolved, was typical for rural China. Old Chinese folk opera songs blasted out of storefronts advertising stereo equipment. Farmer’s carts were parked lazily on sandy crossroads hawking peaches and watermelons, clothing shops displayed glittery low-end polyester fashions, some of which were tailored for the potbellied figures of older women, others cheerily adorned with lace, cartoons, and English words for younger girls.

The contents and noise of the open storefronts and the street mingled sloppily. Sputtering motorcycles vroomed past ambling farmers. Middle-aged women, including Hai Rong’s mother, bargained fervently in the dank heat of the little shops, darkened in order to save electricity. Just behind the racks of T-shirts and lace lingerie, you could catch a glimpse of a bed, a crude stove, and a collection of empty beer bottles, shielded by a curtain.

Hai Rong asked me if I, as a bona fide city person, thought the town offered enough in terms of things to buy. She proudly said that this town basically had everything one needed. Everything except a Shanghai salary and a chance to get off the farm.

We visited Hai Rong’s old middle school, a neat white tile building, emblazoned with gold Chinese characters exhorting children to be diligent in their studies. Hai Rong was proud of her school. They had renovated the school grounds and the surrounding area so that it was even nicer than when she was a student. Even the poorer villages in China have seen notable improvements in infrastructure, schools and living conditions, partly due to government public works funding, and partly due to an influx of income earned through labor migration.

“It keeps getting better,” Hai Rong said with a smile. “I hope the next time you come, it’s even better.”

Some things in the village were getting worse, however. The main reason for the visit to the school was to meet with one of the head teachers. Hai Rong’s cousin, the eldest son of her uncle who was now working in Shanghai, had been neglecting his studies to play video games at the local computer bar, where many youth while away their afternoons in tightly packed computer cubicles.

“He’s gone bad,” said Hai Rong as her mother listened gravely to the young teacher’s warnings, delivered in peppery Shandong dialect, that the once top-ranked student was on the wrong path. “He’s been badly influenced by his father,” Hai Rong told me. The short, skinny adolescent had his father’s square, angular face, as well as his temper.

The long distances migrants journey to find a better life in the city often strain family relations, especially for men like Hai Rong’s uncle. He found another woman in Shanghai, who bore him a son. Since his first wife and two older sons found out about the affair, the household had unraveled. The mother’s life at home now consisted of “crying and wailing every day,” Hai Rong told me, and the boys, encouraged by their mother, had virtually disowned their father.

The labor migration phenomenon has atomized families across the country, and this boy’s steady downward spiral was just one indication that economic prosperity could have dark implications for China’s rural communities. “If I were him,” said Hai Rong, “I’d be the same. I’d hate [my father] too.”

Gazing at the campus abuzz with youthful vitality and ripe innocence, Hai Rong was nostalgic for her school days, before she had encountered the threatening urban world, before she discovered the “chou shi“ or “ugly matters” that marred her uncle’s family.

She ran into an old friend, who had been held back instead of advancing to the vocational upper middle school, as Hai Rong had. Hai Rong admired her friend because she was still in school. “But actually, she might admire me,” she reflected, because so many village children dream of finding steady jobs in big cities. If she had felt that her advice would have been valued, Hai Rong probably would have warned the youth that their idealism was at least partially misplaced. But when a teenager’s options in life are either a city of possibilities, both good and bad, or a flat tract of dirt to which her family has been chained for generations, the act of leaving the village is not so much the pursuit of an ideal as it is a quest to survive.

Hai Rong undergoes re-rustification.

Sweet duplicity

The oil bubbled and snarled in the wok. Hai Rong, her mother and I stood in a crude stone room with a small stove. We were making the main dish of the evening — tang gao, or sugar cakes. Hai Rong was eager to show me that you didn’t have to spend money to be able to taste these fritters of sugar, flour, and air — a coarse but cheap and satisfying treat that could be made from just a bag of sugar and dough.

Hai Rong’s mother kneaded and twisted the dough in the darkness as dusk began to close over the fields. She taught me how to drizzle my palm with a few drops of precious oil, and press a lump of dough with my fingers until I formed a small cup to house a teaspoon of sugar. The lump was then patted flat and deep fried into fuzzy patties of golden sweetness. It was a child’s treat for a grown-up daughter thinking of home.

The recipe, like Hai Rong’s lao jia as a whole, was simple. The city bumpkin’s complexities, on the other hand, were outgrowing the place. She bore the impact of the urban environment like a tender bruise. Her impatience and disdain for the country life were evident in her complaints that the people in the village were of a low class, or “suzhi,” or when she expressed her disappointment at how her uncle, whom everyone used to admire for making something of himself in the city, had brought shame upon his family. The realization that people divide themselves when moving between city and village, the discovery of duplicity inherent in Chinese migrant identity, is enough to cast shadows over a girl’s spirit.

Learning how to lie was a baptism of sorts for Hai Rong. One of the first pieces of advice her cousin gave her when she came to Shanghai was never to tell anyone you were there to find work — “da gong de.” Any indication that you were fresh off the farm was a green light for ravenous con men and other shady types who preyed on country kids with half-full pockets. So at the beginning of our journey, riding in the cab on the way to the Shanghai train station, she had replied with a quick “yes” when the driver asked us if we were students taking a holiday.

The habit of giving false answers, which she had come to think of as a game of sorts, followed her home. When we boarded the bus that took us back to the village, one of the bus attendants asked her where she lived. She then led the bus company worker on a 20-minute chase in which she dodged every question about her town and the location of her village, shaking her head and saying “I don’t know” when he asked if she knew how to get home.

I had never thought of being able to tell the truth about my identity as an indulgence, but in Hai Rong’s world, it was. As long as she was a migrant worker, her background would be at best a burden and at worst a mark of shame; to be mistaken for someone else was a relief for her, a temporary escape.

Hai Rong pushes the family’s only means of transportation through the mud on
the way to town.

City bound

The train car rocked gently as it throttled through the darkness.

For the return trip, we had bought tickets for the fast train, mainly at my spoiled American behest, since I didn’t think I’d be able to stomach another day-long cattle-car ride. Of course, even the “fast train” would take about ten hours, and we were too late to get seats — a more popular train often means standing room only.

Hai Rong and I were joined at Shandong train station by her second uncle, who, having returned briefly to his village to tend to farm work, was headed back to Shanghai to continue his job collecting recyclable trash on a bicycle cart. After some searching, we staked out a florescent-lit smoking alcove between train cars, setting up a small camp on our bulky luggage and dining on hard-boiled eggs and fresh-picked peaches.

Like the train we rode out of Shanghai, this one was packed with migrants, mostly lanky men in their 20s or 30s, all returning to city life, and to their city selves. To pass the time strangers chattered about where they were headed and what line of work had brought them there. The men standing next to us were part of a construction team bound for Jiangsu Province, one of countless work teams that were fueling China’s warp-speed development with migrant sweat.

The tracks stretched through the slick, rainy night, delivering the workers to their destinations, where, buoyed by wilting memories of lao jia, they would toil for another month, another year, until they earned enough to take them home to their children in the village.

But for younger migrants like Hai Rong, the goal of earning money in the city is not as clear. There is no feeling of urgency in facilitating the circulation of human and financial capital between the two worlds. There is only the somewhat aimless sense that working in the city is the only path they can take.

Hai Rong perhaps faced even starker challenges than did migrants with families to support, because her struggle was less obvious and went beyond economic subsistence. The harshness of both the village and the city had imbued her with an insatiable determination just to keep going. But without a clear path laid out before her and other young migrants like her, she was straining to attain stability and dignity in a tumultuous metropolis that seemed eager to derail her.

As the train doors opened on our destination, the peace and the sedate comforts of rural life — which elicited both frustration and nostalgia from its itinerant youth — were scattered in the cool haze of a city dawn.

The reporting for this article took place in the summer of 2004 during the author’s year-long research fellowship on internal migrants in urban China.

STORY INDEX

CONTRIBUTOR >

PLACES> SHANGHAI AND RURAL CHINA>

Shanghai official website
URL: http://www.shanghai.gov.cn

Shanghai: Street Life/Night Life, photographed by Howard W. French
URL: http://www.howardwfrench.com/photos/Shanghai-day-to-day

Michelle Chen, “Shanghai After Dark,” Jinx Magazine
URL: http://www.jinxmagazine.com/shanghai.html

Craig Troianello, “The China Challenge: Life in a farming village,”
Yakima Herald-Republic

URL: http://www.yakimaherald.com/newsfeatures/china/china23.php

TOPICS> RURAL-URBAN MIGRATION IN CHINA>

“China’s Economic Reforms Likely to Increase Internal Migration,” Population Reference Bureau
URL: http://www.prb.org/Template.cfm?Section=PRB&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=6755

Jim Yardley, “In the Chinese countryside, fractured families,” New York Times
URL: http://www.iht.com/articles/2004/12/20/news/china.html

TOPICS> CHINESE MIGRANT WOMEN>

Tamara Jacka, “‘My Life as a Migrant Worker’: Women in Rural-Urban Migration in Contemporary China”
URL: http://wwwsshe.murdoch.edu.au/intersections/issue4/tamara_intro.html

Zhang Ye, “Hope for China’s Migrant Women Workers,” China Business Review, May/June 2002
URL: http://www.chinabusinessreview.com/public/0205/ye.html

 

Envisioning belonging

A photographer’s journey to understanding in New York, Tokyo, and Barcelona.

Click here to enter the visual essay.

What is belonging?  Or rather, how?  Belong-ing implies that it’s an action in movement, constantly fleeting, always changing.  

How is belonging? You establish relationships with people that you can rely on and who can rely on you. You engage with certain objects in the environment. These actions can give you entry into the social, cultural, economic, and political networks that make a place, and feel that you can take some kind of role in that community. To me, this participation, as marginal or ephemeral as it may be, is the workings of belonging.

I don’t know how individual people in the various cities I visit create their belonging. I can only assume. The following images are my personal glimpses into the hidden mechanics of belonging in New York, Tokyo, and Barcelona.  

Economic belonging
Individuals contribute to the economic circulation of a city. This interaction creates a consumerist role for the person. Whether intentional or accidental, desired or resisted, this is one of the most basic actions of belonging to a community.

Political belonging
One form of participation in these particular cities was the imposition of political speech onto the street. From protests to graffiti, private beliefs were etched onto the urban landscape. As rebellious as this is, just as a child rebels against his or her parent, to me it seemed to be a show of their belonging.  

Belonging by not belonging
There are those who are on the margins of participation — those who are ignored on the street, those without an imposing voice. Their ways of belonging are more invisible to me than those of anyone else. As outcasts or strangers, how do they belong? What does their presence say about the other ways of belonging? What does this say about me?

 

Respecting life, Bambi-style

WINNER of the 2005 InTheFray writing contest
I'm subverting the killing norm, one animal at a time.

Killing for fun may not seem like a social norm, but it is in Minnesota. Recently a nationally syndicated comic strip, “Zippy the Pinhead,” recognized this. One of Zippy’s friends, who was considering a run for the presidency, remarked, “I eat meat occasionally. But I can’t see hunting and killing as a pastime.”

Zippy replied, “Well, we just lost Minnesota.”

Similar conditions obtain in Wisconsin and New Mexico, where my stories take place. I have heard gunshots on opening day and discussions of this activity at church.

Thomas Lee Boles cares for Marena, a fawn residing at the Alameda Park Zoo in Alamogordo, N.M.

Marena

When I lived in Alamogordo, New Mexico, I had the very special joy of hand raising a fawn. I named her Marena, after a doe in the novel “Bambi” who prophesied peace between humans and animals. Though I was unemployed, nearly broke, recovering from a nearly fatal illness, and still facing difficult surgery, I wouldn’t have traded that experience for anything.

Marena was a mule deer (the species is named for their large ears) brought to the Alameda Park Zoo by someone who found her wandering along a highway alone. I had already made friends with the zoo’s two adult mule deer, whom I named Bambi and Faline, and, through them, with the zookeepers and director, Steve Diehl. Bambi had given the first warning that my appendix was about to burst, so we all knew something very special was going on.

Marena was the happiest baby I have ever known, always full of life, love, and joy.  When I came to visit, I called out, “Marena! Where is my little sweetheart?”

There came the sound of tiny galloping feet (all four of them could have fit on the palm of my hand, with room to spare) and an eager voice calling, “Meh! Meh! Me-eh-eh!” To say that her tail wagged would be a gross understatement.

Like a dog greeting her dearest long lost friend, the whole animal wagged, from head to toe. She fizzed, like champagne.

Once I suggested to Steve that Marena wanted me to come in at night.

”At night!” he exclaimed. “Why ever at night?”

”She nibbles my ears,” I explained. “You know what that
means.”

As another friend said, in a deep, throaty voice, “Hey, baby, whaddaya doin’ tonight?”

One day, as I was feeding Marena, a family stopped to watch, and began asking questions. Soon the conversation was like one of those scenes in Family Circus when the word balloons float free, not attached to anyone in particular.

Meanwhile Marena finished her bottle and began to run and play, returning occasionally to be petted and bestow kisses upon me lavishly. A pattern emerged in the conversation. The man kept repeating, “She’s so docile! She’s so docile!”

As they left I heard him say, “I don’t think I’ll ever eat venison again.”

Thomas Lee Boles and a doe, Sugar, share a close moment at Fawn-Doe-Rosa in St.  Croix Falls, Wisconsin.

Sugar

When I moved to Minnesota in December 2000, I mentioned my experiences of deer to several people at church.

One person said, “You’d like Fawn-Doe-Rosa. You can go into the yard with the deer; they eat from your hand.”

”Where’s that?” I asked.

”Near Taylors Falls.”

In the middle of the worst winter in about 10 years (even the natives were impressed), I went looking. I drove all the Minnesota approaches to Taylors Falls, and found no Fawn-Doe-Rosa.

That was because it isn’t in Minnesota. It’s across the Saint Croix River, in Wisconsin.

It was closed until May 15.

I awaited that date as eagerly as the Christmas when I got my Lionel train. Presenting myself at the entrance, I bought my admission and some feed, and began getting acquainted with white-tailed deer. I did this every day off, all spring, summer, and fall, until the place closed for winter.  As in Alamogordo, I watched for sick or injured animals and humans doing things that they should know better.  (Deer are not riding animals, like horses.)

One day I found that my money was no longer any good. Admission and all the feed I could give away were free. Not only that, there was a party for my birthday.

In my second summer, a fawn appeared with an odd malformation of the left ear. The tip was bent over and welded, as it were, to the inner lining. I called her Lop Ear, but soon had good reason to change that to Sugar, and look eagerly for that peculiar ear.

My mom once said my dog loved me because “You were the one who got down on the floor with her.” So I began sitting on the ground among the deer. I saw that they groomed each other, and even their babies. Seeing the fawns return the favor, I realized this is more than sanitation: it’s love.

One day in June there presence appeared behind me, and felt the same touch on my hair. In the most profound delight I have ever known, I grew very still. Suddenly, there were two more waiting in line — and one was Sugar.

She began doing that every day, and washed my hair better than I ever did. She was very thorough, sometimes working half an hour at a time, yet incredibly gentle. But if she sees another deer do that, she flies into a jealous rage and beats him up. Even the queen of the herd, who started all this, isn’t safe.

One day someone asked, “Do you have a name for this animal?”

I answered, “I call her Sugar, because she’s my sweetheart.”

A picture of a bottle-feeding session with Marena adorns the cover of my book, Deer Diary.  A picture of Sugar’s ablutions is at BookCather.com, and will be on the cover of my next book, Deer Companions.

Anyone who thinks all this doesn’t challenge a Minnesota norm should consider what happened to our former Governor, Jesse Ventura, when he spoke up for Bambi.

 

Walk this way

From Alias to Elektra, female warriors are giving a new face to girl power — and our sense of justice.

“There is just something intriguing about a woman who looks like she could kill you.”
— Bryan Williams

Jennifer Garner walks funny. Watch Alias and you’ll see what I mean — one arm is raised in front of her, as if to stop what’s coming, and one arm is bent back, almost cocked. Her feet don’t quite criss-cross, as though she doesn’t want to be off-balance. She floats rather than walks, always one step away from a battle stance.

Jennifer Garner is the current head of state in Grrl World. She’s tough, gorgeous, sensitive and serious. She’ll do romantic comedy when she wants to, but mostly she just kicks butt in a variety of venues. She’s inherited the throne of the action chick with her successful turns in Alias, and will reign on the big screen in Elektra. She is a force to be reckoned with, and serves as the latest signpost in the journey of feminine heroics.

Tough old birds

There have always been women who have captured the imagination of their cultures, and many of them have done so by force. ‘Woman as warrior’ is not such an unfamiliar image that its history cannot be traced. In the West, we can look to the ancients for examples of women accustomed to the thrill of adventure or the terror of violence — witness Artemis the Greek goddess of the hunt, Deborah the judge of Israel, or Cleopatra the queen of Egypt. We can recall Joan of Arc, Catherine the Great, or even the iconic farm wife of the American westward expansion. These are women of strong backs and iron wills.

We have left room in our hearts for women of valor, but these visions can become caricatured. Some images persist: the noble, frail, civilized women who must be protected from the world outside, or the wild women from whom young men must guard their hearts. For much of history, woman of valor didn’t challenge, so much as mitigate, that cultural bias. Deborah was revered by Israel as its judge, yet she derided her warrior Barak for needing a woman to fight his battles. Rosie the Riveter served as a convenient icon for World War II America, when women were needed in industrial labor while men were at war, but she was quickly replaced by the Happy Homemaker once the war was won. In more recent history, however, strong women have lingered, as have their audiences. Since World War II, and more forcefully since the Civil Rights movement, women in heroics have moved from temporary positions to strong, silent partners, to principals in their own stories.

Wonder women and girly powers

Scholar Richard Reynolds characterizes the superhero as a modern mythology, complete with its own gods and goddesses. But these goddesses were slow in coming. It took an intentional act of creation on the part of psychotherapist William Moulton Marston for the first great superheroine, Wonder Woman, to come out swinging. The heroines that followed were either granted distinctly “feminine” powers, or were utterly derivative, with names and powers identical to, but muted from, their male counterparts.

  • The “lasso of truth” bound Wonder Woman’s enemies, rendering them unable to fight and incapable of lying. The domination imagery has been widely commented on.
  • While Batman and Robin would swim through a sea of villains, throwing punches as they went, Batgirl tended to sit above the fray, letting the bad guys come to her, then kicking them in the face with her high-heeled bat-boots.
  • The Scarlet Witch didn’t fight physically; by controlling the laws of probability she changed the outcome of conflicts by changing her mind.
  • The X-Men’s Marvel Girl was a telepath — another ability characterized by passivity rather than physical prowess.
  • Susan Storm of the Fantastic Four took the name Invisible Girl (not yet, apparently, a woman, despite her marriage to team patriarch Mr. Fantastic). In battle she would simply fade from view.

Six steps behind

In spite of obvious gender inequalities inherent in the design of women characters, the commitment to an expanding female presence in comic books was a significant development. With the advent of Invisible Girl and the women who followed after her, the dynamics of comic book storytelling changed. Sexual politics, now far more sophisticated than the cat-and-mouse games of Superman and Lois Lane, were driving a storytelling format that had shifted from issue-specific epics (one issue tells one complete story) to a serial format (plots and characters developing over years and even decades). Women had found their niche in the genre, as they were finding their niche on television and in song.

Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie told the stories of women with exceptional abilities living out an idyllic existence from week to week. Women sang about the joys and challenges of romance in chart-topping hits like He’s So Fine and It’s My Party (I Can Cry If I Want To). While women were enjoying prominent roles in a variety of mediums, their worldview was highly restricted. Male characters (such as Superman, Captain Kirk, and Marshall Dillon) were often driven by the call of adventure, while female characters were still motivated largely by romance and domestic tranquility.

While the far-reaching implications of the Civil Rights movement prompted discussions about equality as a practical rather than cerebral issue, the job market was also being forced further open to women. By the late 1970s Nancy Drew and Charlie’s Angels were on television as (relatively) independent heroes, and the comic book hero Dazzler, disco singer with mutant powers, celebrated the power of women to define heroism for themselves: “World savin’ ain’t my style . . . I prefer singin’ my heart out to an audience that really digs me,” said “Dazzler” in Comic Book Encyclopedia.

The good, the bad, and the beautiful

Moral ambiguity ruled the day in the 1980s — or so it would seem. Marvel Girl had grown in power, sacrificed herself on behalf of the X-Men, and was reborn as the Phoenix. A sympathetic hero, she was driven insane by her newfound power and destroyed an entire universe. The beloved Jean Grey had gone bad and had to be punished, but at her trial she once again sacrificed herself to save her friends. Whether hero or villain, she was dead.

Catwoman, with a longer history than Jean Grey, gained prominence as well. Always acknowledged as a villain, but with a clear hold on Batman’s affections, Catwoman played a role in the landmark Dark Knight Returns, a story of Batman ten years after his retirement, and in Batman: Year One, the first year of Bruce Wayne’s crime fighting career.

Much later, in the 1980s, the character of Catwoman was played with supreme sensibility by Michelle Pfeiffer in the second film of the Batman franchise. Sexy and sympathetic, Pfeiffer’s Catwoman stole the show. Blurring the lines between good and bad, Pfeiffer saw the villain “as a positive role model if you look at her metaphorically. She’s about empowerment, a character coming into her own,” Suzan Colón wrote in Catwoman: The Life and Times of a Feline Fatale.

Into the midst of these longstanding characters came a new woman with a nebulous history: Elektra Natchios was an intriguing romantic interest for fan favorite Daredevil. She appeared out of nowhere and prompted a mild revisionist retelling of Daredevil’s history — a college love of Matt Murdock, she witnessed her father’s killing and lashed out at Matt: “I used to love the world. . . . You’re a part of that world. And you love it. You let it hurt you and you love it all the more. I’m not that strong, ” she said in Elektra Saga. Her innocence lost, Elektra channels her rage into a job as an assassin. Even after dying (more than once), Elektra remained a popular character who would ultimately make the jump to film — not simply as a foil for the male hero, but as the center of a storyteller’s universe.

Girl power remixed

Elektra opened the floodgates for strong, independent women in heroic roles. In the comics, characters like Witchblade carved out their own niche audiences, and writer Anne Nocenti took a turn crafting Daredevil, taking up where Elektra’s creator left off,  introducing her own complex character, Typhoid Mary, whose split personality made her sympathetic one moment, psychotic the next.

On television, women were becoming the focal point for action. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a cult favorite that rested the fate of the world on a teenage girl’s shoulders. With its commitment to ensemble heroics and relationship development, Buffy and its spinoff series Angel turned convention on its ear. Whereas “legitimate knowing in Western patriarchal cultures has for centuries situated the ideal knower as an autonomous individual,” and in particular “strong female heroes have been represented as isolated from other women socially,” Sharon Ross wrote in “Tough Enough,” in Action Chicks. Here we saw men and women fighting side by side with a young woman — a child, really — leading them.

Alongside Buffy were others — shows like La Femme Nikita, Xena: Warrior Princess, Witchblade, Dark Angel, Birds of Prey — each showcasing the particular strengths and challenges of women in heroic roles. Even children’s programming got in on the act with The Power-Puff Girls and Totally Spies. While many such series featured a man in prominent leadership over the principal characters, the women remained the heroes, and the drama involved watching them come to terms with their emerging power and womanhood.

Alias, Elektra

That brings us to Alias, the most recent entry in grrl power television. Alias follows Sydney Bristow, a young woman working alongside a man, and under the authority of her father and a father figure, until she realizes that the spy agency she works for is an enemy of the American government. She turns herself in to the CIA and begins to work as a double agent. In the process, she is given another male mentor, her “handler.” The show develops from there as Sydney and her viewers have to make sense of unbelievable plot twists from minute to minute while Sydney avoids being killed or revealing her secret mission.

Jennifer Garner brought a youthful naiveté to the role of Sydney, striking a difficult balance between supreme competence and a sense of being in over her head. As the series develops, we see Sydney seize and effectively wield power, not just physically, but bureaucratically: she makes the systems work for her.

In this sense, Alias reflects a common theme in female heroics, particularly for the young: our hero is as much becoming as she is overcoming. The most recent wave of women characters has brought this insight into heroism, where it has often been lacking. Rather than hacking away at villains until there are no more villains to hack away at, “feminine” heroes are “flexible with how they approach the events with which they become involved. They learn to listen before they speak, converse before they act,’ according to Sharon Ross. This shift offers a corrective to the negative agenda of the conventional epic (putting an end to clear and present danger) by pursuing a positive agenda: the peace and prosperity of the whole community.

This pursuit finds its way into the Elektra film as well. In the 2003 film Daredevil, Jennifer Garner plays Elektra, a character who bears a striking resemblance to Sydney Bristow. In the 2005 sequel, Elektra, Garner reprises the titular role. Here, we no longer find the young, naïve girl struggling to get by. Elektra is hardened, old-souled and is almost mythically ruthless until she meets a girl who is at the first step in the same journey. Elektra, having left behind her own “handler,” Stick, becomes the handler for her protégé while fighting to protect the girl’s life. In the process, Elektra fulfills a prophecy that leads to a final peace after centuries of conflict.

Naturally, she also learns a lot about herself. Garner told Wizard magazine that Elektra “does not enjoy this journey back to well-being at all. She doesn’t see the good in it. Nor does she see any good in herself.” The good becomes evident, however, in the maternal looks she gives her student, in her reconciliation with Stick, in the vindication of her mother’s death, and in her own happy ending as she walks off into the sunset.

Former villain and never-ending warrior, Elektra breaks new ground for women of valor. She has left behind the protection of men while maintaining a close relationship with them — she has no handler, only men who wish her well. She makes peace with who she is: as a woman and a warrior. In playing the role, Garner herself felt “like a great combination of a fighter and a girl.” While the film is unlikely to break box office records, the impact of Elektra will linger long, leaving young women and men with a vision of heroism that moves beyond simple opposition to evil by adding the promotion of good. Elektra is a hero, plain and simple, in the fight for her own humanity — just as all of us, male and female, are called to be.

STORY INDEX

RESOURCES >

Dave A. Zimmerman’s blog Strangely Dim
URL: http://ivpress.gospelcom.net/campus/sd/

A Tale of Two Superheroes: Spider-Man, the Punisher & the Ethics of Power
URL: http://www.bustedhalo.com/archive/2004_18pop_culture.htm

Elektra Artwork Gallery
URL: http://www.wordsandpictures.org/Elektra/maingallery.html

BOOKS >
Purchase these books through Powells.com and a portion of the proceeds benefit InTheFray

Comic Book Character
By David A. Zimmerman. Published by InterVarsity Press. 2004.
URL: http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=28164&cgi=product&isbn=0830832602

 

A hard bargain

Going from the city to rural Cape Verde requires some serious choreography when it comes to dating and socializing.

Making Grogue (a type of rum) is a tradition in Cape Verde. Villages take great pride in their distilleries, which use antiquated equipment and centuries-old techniques.

Click here to enter the visual essay.

Shinta, shinta!“ Nha Olivia commanded.

I sat.

I wasn’t tired, but in Cape Verde, guest-host interactions follow exacting rules.

She left the room.

Scuffling noises came from under the table, but I refrained from investigating. I waited. I was learning that all things reveal themselves in time, if you are patient. A nose poked out from under the lace tablecloth. I stamped my foot.

Two piglets shot out from under the table heading in different directions. One barely touched the ground as it sped through the courtyard. The second one miscalculated and ran into the kitchen where my hostess was preparing food. Within 30 seconds it shot back through the room following its accomplice’s route, tailed by a five-year-old girl paddling its butt with a switch.

I took out a film canister and filled it with pebbles, turning it into a makeshift rattle. The girl watched me closely.

Ten minutes later my hostess, Nha Olivia, came back into the room.

Embarrassed that she had caught me playing, I composed myself. Adult males do not play. But instead of noticing my impropriety, Nha Olivia scolded the young girl and tried to get her to give me back the rattle. I insisted that it was a gift.

The Peace Corps had selected me to live and work on Santiago, the largest island in the Cape Verde archipelago. Even though Santiago is the home of Cape Verde’s capitol city, Praia, most of the island is struggling to develop. Villages lack infrastructure. Electricity, plumbing, and waste management are uncommon luxuries. When I moved to remote Rincon, I expected to suffer a lot. However, the lack of amenities was not the biggest hurdle in adapting to my island life. My difficulty was in learning a new approach to social situations and a new understanding of the importance of family and friends.

When it was time for supper, Nha Olivia began clucking at me and I pecked for a thread of meaning in what she’d said … something about the food.

Katxupa … (clu, cluc, cluck) … Forti pa bu … (clu, cluc, cluck).”

She set the large bowl of Katxupa (a corn stew of beans and vegetables or, on special occasions, pork or tuna) on the table and looked at me expectantly.

I hated asking Capeverdeans to repeat themselves. After a year of struggling with the Kriolu language, simple conversations should have been easy. At the age of 32, I had been reduced to poorly constructed subject-verb-object sentences.

I stammered, “(Uh …), Kuze ki bu fla-m?” (which I hoped meant, “What did you ask me?”).

She smiled and calmly repeated the question a little louder, as though I were deaf rather than incompetent.

This time, I got it.

Katxupa will make you strong,” she said. “Are you hungry?”

Ayan.” I responded with bashful laughter. She spooned out a bowl full of the stew and left the room. In Cape Verde, it is polite to leave a guest to eat alone, one of many customs I never got used to.

My struggle to adapt in Cape Verde taught me to see in a new way. My ideas of what constitutes “normal” or “beautiful” changed. I learned that the issues of which colors grate, what sounds clash, or what body functions are publicly acceptable — all depend on who and what surrounds you.

Learning the steps

My lack of language ability in Cape Verde kept conversations focused on practical matters — fishing, farming, child-rearing. My friendships were largely restricted to men. When men get together, the conversation is about one of three topics: soccer, fishing, or mind-numbing grogue (a homemade rum produced in Cape Verde).

The only times Capeverdeans deviate from this pattern of gender-segregated socializing is for dancing and sex. Having no girlfriend, I opted for the former. In Cape Verde dancing has a nearly spiritual importance. Children dance the Funana (a sexy two-step) by the age of two. Simply turning on the radio is usually enough to get two or three people out of their seats.

A good dancer automatically commands respect. In my village the best dancer was a gay man. Although gay men in Cape Verde are traditionally shunned, this man’s dancing prowess made him incredibly popular, especially with women. He was invited to every party.

My attempts at dancing, however, always sent two or three people to the floor laughing and clutching at their sides.

So I practiced. Eventually, I improved. Girls who had previously left me mid-song on the dance floor, laughing as they walked away, were now hanging around for a second song. I started to feel like I was fitting in.

The stark landscape of Cape Verde is spiced with lush Riberas (canyons) that provide water, shade and fertile farm land.

Choosing the right partner

One of the fundamental rules of cultural adaptation is honesty. If you don’t understand, acting like you do will only get you in trouble.

My first meeting with Ciza was a good example of this. I first encountered her on my way home from teaching at the high school. She and her daughter were the only other passengers in the flatbed truck. Dressed fashionably in a tight-fitting top and trendy jeans, she was wrapping her long straightened hair in a scarf when I boarded the truck. She was a beautiful change from the usual fishmonger co-passengers. It was difficult not to stare. Fighting back my anxiety, I introduced myself. We tried to chat but could barely hear each other over the flapping wind.

Abo, bu mora na Rincon?” I asked, hoping to find out if she too lived in Rincon.

Kuza?” she looked at me with a confused expression. I repeated my question louder.

… Ooh, Sin.” she confirmed, nodding her head up and down in case I didn’t hear. Then she asked me the same question. “E bo?

Ayan. N mora ku Maria Tavares,” I answered, explaining that I lived with Maria. The wind was furious.

Kuza?” We continued on like this for the hour-long ride.

I struggled to keep the conversation going. I asked what she did for a living and about her little girl, but I had trouble concentrating on her answers. Every time she looked at me, her large brown eyes whipped my thoughts into dizzy spirals. Luckily, by the end of the trip she was asking me questions too; wanting to know where I was from and why I had come to live there.

When I got home I asked one of the boys I lived with if he knew who she was. He said that she lived nearby and the father of her child was living in France with a French girlfriend and might not come back.

When I mentioned that I was interested in meeting her, Maria (the mother of the family I lived with) grabbed my hand and marched me over to Ciza’s house. I felt odd storming the home of a girl I barely knew, letting an elderly lady serve as my matchmaker. It was not the kind of dating game I was accustomed to in America.

We were greeted at the door by Nozhina, an older woman living with Ciza. After a lively — and to me, incomprehensible — conversation between Nozhina and Maria, Ciza came into the room. I blushed. Luckily, Maria did most of the talking. I stood by as they chatted for about twenty minutes, and then Maria took me back home. It seemed, at first, like nothing had been accomplished on our little visit, but slowly it became clear what Maria had done.

Maria explained that I was now expected to Txiga with Ciza’s family. In Cape Verde, if you meet an acquaintance’s family, you are expected to visit them as often as possible. This visit may only be once or twice a year, if you live on opposite ends of the island, or as often as once a week, if you live close. This type of visit is called a Txiga in southern Kriolu — and can be the perfect opportunity to strike up a romance. Maria was a genius!

I worked hard to uphold my end of the responsibilities, stopping by once or twice a week to say hello.

In time, I discovered the Txiga had a few drawbacks. Normally, Nohzinha would harass me till I had eaten two bowls full of Katchupa, even if I wasn’t hungry. Additionally, as soon as I arrived Ciza would often steal away to prepare something for me to eat. While she was in the kitchen, Nozinhia would make fun of my bad Kriolu and occupy me with chatter. As a result, Ciza and I never had time to talk.

Frustrated, I asked my friend Emiliano, a local who was better schooled in such matters, what I should do.

Emiliano decided to intervene by becoming my second matchmaker. He suggested that we go to the beach on the other side of the island for an afternoon. He told me he would arrange an outing for that Sunday with Ciza and one of her friends. But he insisted that I keep everything quiet and not tell people where we were going. I went along with his plot.

On Saturday night, I was ready for the rendezvous. But my fast paced island romance fell out of step. Emiliano told me that the outing was canceled because Ciza didn’t want to insult her ‘mother-in-law’ by going on an outing with another man.

MOTHER IN LAW? I thought I had misunderstood. Since I had heard that she and her boyfriend were estranged, I was puzzled. I asked Emiliano where this mother-in-law was.

“Oh, I thought you knew,” he said, “Nozinhia is her mother-in-law!”

I was mortified that I had spent weeks sheepishly calling on Ciza only to spend most of my time socializing with her husband’s mother. I ended my visits.

Forgiveness took an unfamiliar form. About two weeks later I was sitting in front of the house when a shadow fell over me. I looked up to find Nozinha towering over me.
Ingratu!“ (ungrateful) she spat out. For an instant her face was a mask of menace.

“Me? What do you mean?”

Then her grimace melted, and she grinned, showing all of the teeth she didn’t have.
“It has been two weeks since you stopped by. And I find you playing here! Come on, we are going to my house right now.”

She dragged me to her house where she fed me Katxupa and we listened to the radio. I had been so focused on my unsuccessful dating that I hadn’t realized my greater social accomplishment. I am sure that Nozinhia knew what my intentions had been but we never spoke of it. In all the confusion of trying to learn how to date Capeverdean style, I had accidentally made a close friend.

 

Living Africa

Getting a firsthand look at child soldiers on a visit to Africa is harder than it sounds.

In August 2004, InTheFray published an interview with artist Josh Arseneau, along with some of his work. His artwork, inspired by news of the 2003 civil war in Liberia, portrayed the plight of child soldiers in West Africa and explored cultural connections to those children. Josh’s interest in the subject took him to the Gambia and Senegal last fall, where he gained  new perspectives to apply to his future body of work. Here Josh reflects on his trip and, through photographs from his travels, gives viewers an eye into his experience.

Click here to enter the visual essay.

One of the things I remember most clearly about Africa was drinking Sprite in the Banjul International Airport before leaving Gambia. It was my first cold drink in three weeks, and it was delicious.  

Occasionally I realize that an exact moment, even something as banal as drinking soda, represents what it means to be alive — not just alive, but possessing vitality. For some reason, I found more of these “near-life experiences” in Africa than halfway around the world, where I am now.

Cleaning rice in the afternoon sun was one of those experiences — an instance when I felt life buzzing around me like a super-charged aura or an energy field. While I picked out the small rocks and other inedibles that had gotten into the white rice, Mariama watched me intently.

She was the daughter of Nyimah, a friend of my guide and mentor, Haruna. I had met Haruna through an English website for the guesthouse he maintains. Born in northern Senegal, he was a member of the Fula tribe and spoke five languages, despite having never gone to school.

That afternoon, he sat to my left and smoked a rolled cigarette while rocking Nyimah’s son, Pamusa, to the sound of the hard rice being sifted in its metal bowl. The sun was just starting to set over the ocean, and goose bumps prickled up through the sweat all over my body. It was a feeling that screamed, “This is what it means to be alive! This is what matters to the rest of your life — this is experience you will never again attain.”  

Why rice-cleaning resounded in me so strongly remains a mystery. Perhaps it was that it differed from all of  my previous knowledge of Africa. For 18 months prior, I had been researching, from a distance, child soldiers in Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Uganda. All of my information had been gathered secondhand; I never talked to a child soldier, never saw one in person, and never talked to anyone whose life had been adversely affected by one.

What I did experience was haunting articles, essays, and interviews, and some of the most chilling photographs I had ever seen. Most of the material had come from online news sources and periodicals. Many of the images were appropriated from The New York Times and Getty Images. I had planned to translate all of this secondhand information into a large body of visual art that I would create — paintings, prints, and drawings — all based on, and in response to, the photos I collected from the various online sources.

When I went to the Gambia, I was on vacation, but I was still interested in following up on my research. The southern region of Senegal that borders the Gambia is Casamance — an area filled with militia fighting against the Senegalese government. One day, Haruna and I visited Alfonse, an art teacher at a French school and a farmer from Casamance. As we drank coffee and ate peanut butter on bread, I asked Alfonse about his experiences with the rebels in his home village. He became agitated while describing how young boys and men who could not afford school often turned to the rebels. They found the wealth they had always wanted at the end of their AK-47s.

Alfonse said it wasn’t uncommon to see them robbing people at checkpoints, taking everything but the victims’ clothes, and then driving off in the stolen car. He said the rebels had forgotten what they fought for; some of the younger ones never even knew. What they knew was the power of a gun waved in someone’s face.  

Alfonse’s stories of his hometown struck me, but registered as secondhand — I was still only experiencing the child soldiers from a distance. When I returned home, I flipped through the hundreds of photos I had taken. Compared to my research, the photos, at first, seemed horribly mediocre. They were images of daily life in the village of Katchikally, where I lived with Haruna — views of Tuman Street, the pier where the fishing boats docked, and children in the neighborhood. They represented the banality of daily life, and, I came to believe upon reflection, the most alive kind of experience.  

I realized then that the appeal of cleaning rice was its quiet completeness as a process of living. In John Dewey’s book, Art as Experience, he writes that experience may be of “tremendous import … or it may have been something that, in comparison, was slight, and which, perhaps because of its very slightness, illustrates all the better what it is to be an experience.”  

Dewey also writes, “Nothing takes root in the mind when there is no balance between doing and receiving.” I thought about how the final act of consuming the rice qualified cleaning it as an actual experience. And I wondered whether translating my research on the child soldiers into art qualifies it as an experience as meaningful and important as simply helping to get dinner ready.

It was clear to me then that my new body of work would try to combine these disparate experiences on the canvas — the experiences I lived, and those I translated in the safety of my studio. The new work would be done from photographs — my own and the hundreds I discovered during my research. As I turned all these photos into drawings, paintings, and prints, would my lived experience show as more authentic than my secondhand experience? And what would the experience of the viewer be, who sees these lived and secondhand images on the same picture plane?

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Media indecency

Dear Michael, before you step down, why not consider an amendment to the FCC’s definition of profane …

Although Video News Releases, or VNR’s, seem to have been around at least since the early 90s, their use seems to have increased in the last five years. Sure, President Clinton, a savvy marketer, used them. But we shouldn’t underestimate President Bush’s skills in this area, nor should we suppose that the blurred line between objectivity and advocacy — as evidenced by Karen Ryan, Alberto Garcia, Mike McManus, Maggie Gallagher, Armstrong Williams, and Jeff Gannon — was somehow unintentional.

While I’ve watched with bemusement, awe, and just a bit of outrage over the years as print advertisers have perfected the art of mimicking news, a syrupy sweet “article” extolling a new diet has nothing on a seemingly live news broadcast extolling everything from government policies to Chevrolet trucks. I balk at being expected to discern advertising from reporting when the former is being read by T.V. reporter Tish Clark Dunning as part of her regular broadcast.

The long festering problem was exposed to the world at large in last week’s New York Times article. Both corporations and the government have cottoned on to creating advertising clips that fit seamlessly into regular news reports. Distribute one of these clips via Reuters without it being labeled too clearly, and voilá, free advertising in the guise of news. Sometimes reporters even help by reading the script themselves.

If you like drug war conspiracy theories, the trouble could be said to have its beginnings back in 2000, when The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) filed suit with the Federal Communications Commission, complaining that the Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) was smuggling anti-marijuana messages into news broadcasts. At this point, it appears that video news releases were still just a twinkle in the ONDCP’s eye. Having been authorized by Congress to buy discount advertising time from the networks, ONDCP came up with a brilliant idea. They offered stations the advertising time back if they would insert their own anti-drug messages (approved by the government, of course) into regular broadcasts.

In its slap on the wrist ruling, the FCC referred back to the Radio Act of 1927, which required sponsors to be identified, and admitted that “the basic purpose of such requirements has not changed since that time: ‘listeners [and viewers] are entitled to know by whom they are being persuaded’” (insertion in original text). However, rather than focusing on the “the news networks are liars” issue, they focused on Section 317 of the Communications Act of 1934, which says, “All matter broadcast by any radio station for which service, money, or any other valuable consideration is directly or indirectly paid … shall … be announced as paid for, or furnished … by such person.”

In the ONDCP case, the FCC limply declared that “sponsorship identification is required and we caution the Networks to do so in the future.” However, they apparently were not too worked up over the issue since they imposed no sanctions. Their reasoning relied heavily on determining what networks had received in return for allowing the government to rewrite their scripts, a rather complicated tradeoff, the “complexity” of which seems to have befuddled the regulatory agency.

“What then,” one might ask, “would be wrong with just perpetrating a simple old fraud on the public if no ‘service, money, or any other valuable consideration’ is paid for it?” Thus, in my retelling, was born the ONDCP’s next brilliant idea, the Video News Release, otherwise known as the “prepackaged news story” or “covert propaganda.” These labels were given by the unpopular-with-the-administration Government Accounting Office. The GAO, earlier this year, gave the thumbs down to the ONDCP on its VNR’s produced and distributed since 2002. Oops.

However, President Bush doesn’t quite agree, and got the Justice Department to overrule that other department. (It should be said that the current Comptroller General, David M. Walker, was appointed in 1998 for a 15-year term, and hence probably is not as concerned as Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez about what Bush wants.) Anyway, the Justice Department issued its own guidelines that, according to Bush, say VNR’s are fine,“so long as they’re based upon facts, not advocacy.” As contributor Andrew Blackwell details this month, reporters hired by the government don’t necessarily doctor the news. They do go out looking for a certain type of news — that which is supportive of the American position — while avoiding other types, a process combining fact and advocacy. A process which would be seen as biased in a journalism ethics class, but which the Justice Department seems to suggest is not only not illegal, but does not, in fact, exist. In the Justice Department’s book, fact and advocacy are apparently diametrically opposed.

So, according to the Justice Department ruling, as long as a government agency “provide[s] accurate (even if not comprehensive) information,” even if it smuggles that information into a news broadcast that does not identify the government as the author of the “news,” everyone is good to go. Our tax dollars at work.

Since nothing is going to happen to government agencies or the companies like Medialink Worldwide who create VNR’s, the focus has to be on the news agencies who never learnt about plagiarism in school. Shouldn’t they be embarrassed to be the government’s shill without getting anything in return?

Perhaps there is still time before the Senate votes on The Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act of 2005 (The Janet Jackson-inspired bill that ups the fines paid by stations broadcasting material deemed “obscene, indecent, and profane,” yet to be agreed upon by both houses, continues to float around D.C.) to elaborate a bit on the bill’s definition of decency.

So humor me, Michael Powell, before you step down as head of the FCC. Assume fact, truth, and authorship to be considered sacred ideas, and profanity “marked by contempt or irreverence for what is sacred.” Would it be too far a stretch to find that, whether or not a station receives moola or moola-substitute, it is wrong and indecent to broadcast fake news?

If the FCC doesn’t act, we can rely on news directors’ discernment in these matters. In The New York Times’ March 13 exposé, David M. Winstrom, the director of Fox News Edge, is quoted as saying “If I got one [a VNR] that said tobacco cures cancer or something like that, I would kill it.”

If not reassured, I recommend investing. Medialink Worldwide’s stock price has risen 20 percent since December.

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Democracy, Middle East-style

A search for footage to promote Afghanistan’s election.

Two women inspect the merchandise in a Kabul street bazaar.

From the air, Afghanistan is a more rugged version of the moon. Approaching Kabul, our plane flies low over the surrounding mountains as we prepare to land. With the city center out of view, Kabul looks like the desiccated remnants of an ancient civilization. Only a few small patches of green glimmer in the haze — everything else is the color of dust.

It is my debut as a government agent. Two weeks before Afghanistan’s first-ever presidential elections, I am part of a State Department team helping shape global public opinion of the elections — and, by implication, improving America’s poor overseas reputation.  It might be more appropriate to describe us as a few opportunistic freelance TV workers dabbling in propaganda. We have been hired by the U.S. government to produce video footage of the elections, footage that will be freely available to any television station that wants to use it. And although we will be operating independently, it is understood, of course, that we aren’t here to look for bad news.

Everyone knows Hamid Karzai, the American backed interim president, is going to win the election. The only questions are by how much, and whether or not Afghans — and the world —will believe the results. Our job is to make sure that, whatever the slant of the international media coverage, someone will be covering the good news in Afghanistan — if there is any. I wonder, though — as a hyper-liberal, anti-Bush zealot, do I really want to help put a good spin on United States foreign policy? On the other hand, we’re not exactly here to create a White House-sanctioned fantasy world a la Wag the Dog, either. So let’s call it “public relations” instead of propaganda. Or maybe “propaganda lite.”

Looking for trouble — and good camera angles

My friend Mathieu told me about the job a few months ago. He needed someone to come to Kabul with him and his colleague Siri, to be an audio tech during the day and a video editor at night. I had worked with them both before, and trusted them. Siri had been to Afghanistan several times in the last two years, and knew her way around the country.

I thought about it for a couple days. Things in Afghanistan looked less than promising. The U.N. Staff Union was lobbying to have U.N. employees pulled out of Afghanistan, and Doctors Without Borders, an non-governmental organization with a reputation for fearlessness, had pulled out altogether after 24 years in the country.

But how often do you get the chance to visit Afghanistan? I called Mathieu to tell him I would come. Second thoughts immediately followed when he asked for my hat and chest size to buy me a helmet and vest of body armor.

Once we land in Kabul, my doubts only grow.

At the airport we are met by Farid and Qais. Farid is our translator and guide, an earnest man in his early thirties. Qais is our driver, a snappy dresser with a mustache poised on his broad, slightly plump face. His minivan is bedecked with sunroofs, a metallic grey paint job, and the words “SUPER EXTRA” emblazoned on the sliding door. We pile in with our equipment, and Qais sends the Super Extra through Kabul’s chaotic traffic with a carefree recklessness bordering on glee.

I had imagined our security would be tight, envisioning fortified U.S. compounds as our lodging and fearsome convoys of armed humvees as escorts. In reality, the U.S.embassy hardly seems to know that we’re here, and our freewheeling Super Extra is apparently all the convoy we’re going to get. I tell myself incognito is better.

Qais and Farid drop us off at a modest Kabul guesthouse, run by an affable Australian chef. The outside is a drab wall with a metal door, but the inside is surprisingly pleasant. There is a central garden with a shady arbor where the other inhabitants — two dozen development workers and U.N. contractors — lounge in the evenings, drinking and playing ping-pong. After dumping our gear in our rooms, and setting up our editing computer, we sit on the patio and drink beers. There is a rumbling in the sky. We crane our heads. Two U.S. helicopters circle over the city, bristling with guns and rockets, rattling our windows.

Kabul is congested and dusty. Its recent history is evident in the sagging skeleton of a ravaged building or a wall pockmarked with the splash of a shell burst. But the etchings of violence are mainly just the backdrop for everyday bustle. Streams of men form a parade of flowing vests and tight cylindrical caps or flat pakol hats, which perch on the back of the head like a felt pancake. The flood of beige and brown is punctuated by an occasional Western suit, or by dark green camouflage jackets thrown over traditional clothing. Women in the streets wear conservative headscarves and long skirts with quietly defiant high heels and fishnet hose. There are also the almost genderless figures of women in flowing, sky-blue burqas, looking out through the embroidered face screen of a garment that, for an object so symbolic to us of sexual repression, is surprisingly beautiful.

Our job is to record life in Kabul and digest it into video clips for mass distribution, hopefully in a way that shows the current situation in a positive light. But these decisions aren’t up to me. I’m making absolutely no decisions about where we go and what we cover. My role is to tag along and get audio, leaving the thinking to Siri. She has been talking to the U.S. embassy in Kabul ever since we landed, and they aren’t offering her much guidance. Mostly, our movements are based on her gut feelings of what our employers will consider appropriate and — above all — what will make good television.

At the top of any cameraman’s list this week are the walls plastered with election materials. U.N. posters cheerily depict how an election is supposed to work. One shows a man and a woman, both smiling broadly, in traditional dress. A giant speech bubble hovers over them displaying the address of the nearest polling station.

There are also campaign advertisements from all 18 presidential hopefuls. Multiple posters for each candidate display the contender in varied poses of purposeful concentration. In vying for the passerby’s attention, however, a common image hovers in the background of many of the flyers: a man’s lined face, framed with a goatee, a shock of gray hair and a pakol hat. It is Massoud, the former head of the Northern Alliance, who was assassinated on September 9, 2001. His exploits are legendary: he defied more than hald a dozen Soviet assaults on his native Panjshir Valley, and later became the linchpin of anti-Taliban resistance. Now, with the fall of the Taliban, it seems Massoud is Afghanistan’s George Washington. And his sad-eyed ghost is everyone’s running mate.

Above the hubbub of modern Kabul, gutted buildings linger as stark reminders of the civil war of the 1990s.

Democracy school

On the outskirts of Kabul, we visit a voter education class at a local high school. (Fresh-faced youth learning about democracy equals good video.) The classroom is packed with young men, few of whom look over 18, which is the Afghan voting age. The teacher explains that the boys are given the class in the hope that they will pass the information on to their families. We tape the teacher gesturing to a set of U.N. posters that illustrate parts of the election process — voter verification, the secret ballot, collection and counting of votes. The teenagers’ concentration is intense. Do American high school civics class ever look like this? Perhaps the presence of a news crew has a focusing effect, but their attention seems genuine.

Siri interviews the teacher. In broken English, he tells us it isn’t always easy to get across the idea of how an election works. “Of course, we think it’s difficult for them,” he says. “But we are explaining more.

He continues: “In the past government, has any president asked you, ‘Can I be your representative, your president?’ They say, ‘No.’ So it is the election, that they are asking, ‘Can you give your vote to me? Can I be your president?’ This is democracy!”

My skepticism weakens. It is one thing to sit home in front of the newspaper and make knowing comments about power politics. How legitimate is “democracy” when it is imposed by an invading superpower, and when a country’s human development and rule of law remain in ruins? Those sentiments fade, however, when confronted with the straight-faced optimism of a classroom like this. Clearly, this is what we were paid to find, with the idea that our footage will have the same effect on viewers.

One dawn, Mathieu, Farid and I decide to hike up to the old city wall for a panoramic view. Mathieu has the constant, almost visceral craving for high, unobstructed wide shots that is common among good cameramen. To get to the crumbling ruin, we walk through a shantytown of mud brick houses. Several boys run out to accompany us. We climb on top of the wall, which runs precipitously down the side of the mountainous ridge that divides the city into two lobes. The boys tell us we shouldn’t go any farther, as there is a guard who haunts the other side of the hill, and he will be tempted to shoot at us if we continue. We are happy to stay put on the wall. From here, we can see Kabul stretching into the distance, a high flat plain ringed by bare mountains. Clouds of smog and dust rise towards the harsh morning sun.

In the town of Nasri, voters wait outside a mosque. An election worker checks registration cards at the door.

Fallout

Siri decides we should go to Bamiyan, the site of a pair of giant Buddha statues that were destroyed by the Taliban in 2001. There is a Provincial Reconstruction Team (PRT) there, a small military base run by the New Zealand army. It is an irresistible opportunity to make a favorable contrast between the multinational forces and the Taliban.

Bamiyan is perhaps a hundred miles away, but it takes us twelve hours by van to negotiate the bumps and potholes of Afghanistan’s country roads. Between Kabul and Bamiyan, the landscape morphs. We rise through high, mountainous desert, almost totally devoid of vegetation, with giant toothy peaks looming in the distance. We pass drought-stricken villages with plowed fields of dust. Other villages are labyrinths of mud brick walls razed halfway to the ground. We spot an occasional Soviet tank lying destroyed beside the road, a vestige of the 1980s. Sometimes their cannon barrels are burnished and shining from years of being climbed by local children, or their sides are stenciled with advertisements (“Afghan tourism organization — Bamiyan Hotel”). Tank treads turn up as speed bumps on village roads. Spent shells appear as eaves holding up roofs, or as the edges of packed-earth porches.

We drive past healthier-looking villages of square adobe houses, puzzle-like assemblies of clay cubes nestled at the bottom of ridges. Children steer herds of goat and sheep, waving as we drive by. It is impossible to tell how old the houses are. Everything is made of baked, dust-covered earth. A ruined village: Was it left many decades ago to fall into disrepair? Or was it reduced to rubble in the civil war of the 1990s?

Thick clouds of powdery dust rise around us everywhere as we drive, entering the less-than-hermetically-sealed Super Extra. Soon all of us and our gear are the same color as the landscape. We wrap bandanas around our faces and Mathieu wraps a scarf around his video camera, the source of his livelihood, and clutches it to himself. “It’s alright, baby,” he croons. “It’ll be over soon.”
We reach the hotel in Bamiyan after dark, and in the morning we awake to the most inviting place we have seen in Afghanistan so far. The valley is a lively patchwork of green and earthy fields flanked by soaring rocky cliffs. The cliffs bear scores of little alcoves, carved by Buddhist monks fifteen hundred years ago. This rocky honeycomb houses three giant alcoves, the larger two of which once hosted Bamiyan’s famed Buddhas.

The Taliban achieved a special level of notoriety when they destroyed Bamiyan’s two giant Buddhas in early 2001. Perhaps more serious than the destruction of those ancient statues, though, were the attacks on the local people. In the ethnically Hazara region around Bamiyan, the rule of the Taliban, who are ethnic Pashtuns, was especially harsh. To tighten control over the region, they massacred locals and destroyed their communities.

Looming over one end of the valley are the ancient ruins of the hill fortress Gholghola — a labyrinthine citadel that eerily suggests Bosch’s image of the tower of Babel. In the 13th century, Genghis Khan laid siege to this fortress city as he took control of the valley. The death in combat of one of his grandsons made him even more brutal than usual, and when the city fell he slaughtered all its residents and laid waste to the surrounding valley. Only in Afghanistan, perhaps, do such tales not seem dusty and ancient. They live on in their modern versions: Russian gunships obliterating entire villages, Taliban massacres, giant statues falling from their ancient places in the cliffs — and, although I can’t tell which craters are which, U.S. bombs also figure in the litany of destruction.  Genghis Khan’s wrath was just a signpost on a bleak road that still stretches on.

Now that both Khan and the Taliban are gone, however, life is returning to Bamiyan.  Farid, who knows the town from earlier times, notices renewed life and activity. The central bazaar, a dirt road lined with two rows of trees, has doubled in size over the last year. It is now the bustling center of town, with a quorum of enthusiastic rug and trinket sellers that recalls the days, several decades past, when Afghanistan hosted more tourists than journalists. The story is perhaps not so rosy in other parts of the country, though, where the collapse of the Taliban’s strong central rule may have been politically liberating, but has also created an atmosphere of lawlessness that does little to help the common people. But lawlessness is not our beat, which is why we are in a place like Bamiyan.

Dragon slaying

Even in Bamiyan, times of relative peace have a military undercurrent. On a hill just opposite Gholghola is a New Zealand military base. We spend some time following a patrol, the Super Extra falling in line with the convoy. After recording a good amount of friendly-soldiers-interact-with-peaceful-locals footage, the Kiwis take us to the Valley of the Dragon for some heavily armed sightseeing.

According to local legend, the valley is named for a dragon that used to terrorize the villagers. A prince, with a single blow of his sword, hewed the beast into two rocky halves separated by a narrow fissure. The valley is a wide, forbidding gorge of Martian rock and dust. At the end, the ground rises steeply to close off the basin with a high, rocky ridge — the dragon’s carcass. To climb the precipice, we abandon our overheating Super Extra for military pickups, bumping and jolting as we ascend the dragon’s side. At the top, the soldiers kindly set up a perimeter to guard our sightseeing. On our right lies the gigantic, empty expanse of the valley. On the left, the ridge descends gradually to a bleak stretch of desert peppered with two shepherds and a dozen motley sheep.

On the road back to Kabul, we come across a village road crowded with people eagerly awaiting a campaign visit from Mohaqiq, one of the major presidential candidates. In a few minutes, as if on cue, the crowd starts to clap. At the bottom of the hill appears a green sport-utility vehicle with the candidate standing in the sunroof. The SUV creeps forward, a handful of machine-gun bearing guards surrounding it. The crowd mobs the truck. A man in sunglasses is screaming slogans into a microphone. Mathieu and I fight our way back and forth to get different shots.

Mohaqiq eventually dismounts from his SUV and makes his way over the side of the road towards a field where his fans will convene. When we reach the edge of the road, I see the rocks are spattered with blood. A sacrificed sheep, still kicking, lies at an old man’s feet, opened at the throat, glistening red in the sun. The man, wizened and toothy, salutes the camera, smiling as he raises his palms skyward, the knife dripping, his hands covered with blood.

After voting, two burqa-clad women return to their village.

Day of anticipation

Back in Kabul, Election Day dawns with a strange, yellow sky. There has been a dust storm during the night, and the sun is invisible behind an ochre haze. Wisps of sand swirl across the city’s eerily deserted streets. Finally the moment is here, when all hell is supposed to break lose, vindicating the months of media hype.

We drive north to visit polling places in the countryside. Next to a low-slung adobe mosque in the village of Nasri, crowds of men mill around and talk. There are no women — voting is segregated, and Nasri’s women are casting their ballots at a polling station up the road.  Two Afghan policemen sit on chairs in a field to the side, AK-47s resting across their laps. Snaking into the green-framed doorway is a line of men. At the entrance, a local man with a blue polyester U.N. vest checks registration cards and thumbs. Each voter gets his registration card punched and his thumb painted with indelible ink, which ensures that only one vote will be cast per person. We later learn this system has been bungled in some parts of the country, leading to charges of fraud.

The hush inside the mosque brings a sacred air to an otherwise secular ritual. Yellow plastic tape divides the room into two voting sections. After checking in at one table (and getting his thumb painted), each man goes to another table to get his ballot — a long, green sheet of paper. The photograph of each of the 18 candidates appears next to each name, accommodating the 70-odd percent of Afghans who are illiterate.

The men working the polling station have put on the slightly huffy air of the petty bureaucrat, but otherwise are indistinguishable from the townspeople casting their votes. At the ballot table, one man in a white Afghan cap dutifully folds each ballot and marks it with an official stamp before handing it to the voter, explaining with an upraised finger that they must remember to fold it up again before emerging from the curtained voting booth. After ducking under the curtain for a short while, each man emerges and tucks his ballot into a large plastic bin, which is guarded by another election worker. Through the clear plastic, we can see it slowly filling up with ballots.

Up the road, Siri is allowed into a women’s polling station with a small camcorder. The women all arrive draped in burqas, but inside the polling station, they throw them back like shawls as they shuttle from the check-in table to the booths to the ballot box. The polling station supervisor, a woman called Najiba, interprets for Siri as she asks a pair of women what they think of their first election. “I’m happy to vote,” says one. “I hope for a peaceful country where our children can get an education.” The woman next to her adds, “We want peace and stability and a free country.”

“They are very happy,” adds Najiba in halting English, beaming. “They say, ‘We were waiting for such a day, that we can come and put [our votes] in the box.’ They look happy.”

They do look happy, and they are making our job surprisingly easy. At the other voting sites we visit — indeed, at polling stations all across the country, we later learn — the scene is peaceful, almost beatific. We ask several men for their impressions, and they reel off answers that George Bush should have monogrammed on his suit lapels:

“Elections means selecting someone who will help the country and the poor. I have made my choice from the ballot, and I hope my candidate will win.”

“It was completely confidential. Nobody checked my ballot. I voted they way I wanted to, and I’m very pleased.”

“We’re happy to have these elections after 23 years of war. We cast our ballots without being told whom to vote for, and everyone has voted according to his own choice.”

I feel like I’ve been cornered into PR heaven. Where is the bitterness? Where is the distrust? The worst we have found is a certain resignation, born from experience, that the United States and its allies may leave and allow another civil war. But under the circumstances, such a wait-and-see attitude seems remarkably hopeful, if not idealistic.

When we return to the guesthouse, we will watch BBC and CNN on satellite TV. The international media will focus initially on failures of the Afghan election system — ink that rubs off thumbs, voters with multiple registrations — before noting the miraculous: no polling places have been attacked, and turnout has been heavy, especially considering the climate of fear during the campaign.

The election seems to have been a great leap of faith on the part of the Afghans. But does it represent a turning point for their country? I wonder how much relevance a peaceful election has for a country beset by warlords and overwhelmed with poverty and illiteracy. I suppose it is naive to be optimistic.

Cruising back to Kabul, I watch from the windows of the Super Extra. As a landscape of destroyed buildings slides by, painted with the white checkmarks and red stripes of the de-mining crews, I quietly hope Afghanistan’s good news will continue.

 

Breaking through the class ceiling

Working-class academics question the Academy’s diversity.

(Illustration by David Benque)

Cold, drenched, and hanging from a telephone pole on a rainy March day 16 years ago, Cathy Mulder decided she’d had enough.

Mulder had been with the telephone company for 11 years and was active in the union.  This was her sixth year as a cable splicer, a dangerous but well-paying position she landed after filing numerous gender discrimination complaints.

“I found myself hanging from a pole and decided I could do more for workers than getting soaked,” says Mulder, a 46-year-old labor studies professor with a straight-shooting Jersey accent. A year after the revelation on the pole, the Teaneck, New Jersey native quit her job and went back to school full-time. Two years later, she graduated summa cum laude from Stockton State College with a bachelor’s degree in economics.

Spurred on by her Stockton State professors, Mulder went on to do something she never thought she would do: She enrolled at Temple University and started pursuing a Ph.D. After two years at Temple, she took a terminal master’s and transferred to the University of Massachusetts to finish her doctorate. She has passed her comprehensive exams and is now completing her dissertation.

While race and gender diversity among university faculty and graduate students has increased substantially in recent decades, class diversity has lagged behind, making stories like Mulder’s less than typical. Many working-class academics say it is still unusual to find a Ph.D. colleague who is not the child of a doctor, lawyer, corporate executive or other middle-class professional. Working-class Ph.D.’s have written papers, dissertations, and even books about feeling out of place and misunderstood in the ivory tower.

Since for most fields, graduate school is the only route to becoming a professor, class bias within doctoral programs must necessarily translate into a bias in faculty hiring. But trying to get a statistical handle on that bias is nearly impossible. None of the organizations contacted for this article — the National Center for Education Statistics, The College Board, and UCLA’s Higher Education Research Institute (HERI) — could provide statistics on the class backgrounds of graduate students. Information on faculty class backgrounds is also tough to find. However, the studies that do exist indicate, as expected, a strong middle-class bias among the nation’s professoriate.

When Seymour Lipset and Everett Ladd analyzed the results of the 1969 Carnegie Commission on Higher Education Faculty Survey in their 1979 paper “The Changing Social Origins of American Academics,” they found that roughly 60 percent of the fathers of the over 60,000 survey respondents came from professional, managerial, and business backgrounds, while only 25 percent were “of working-class origin.”
Looking at faculty makeup in the 15 years following the Lipset and Ladd study, researchers Joseph Stetar and Martin Finkelstein reported in 1997 that the percentage of faculty from professional and managerial-class families had scarcely changed between 1969 and 1984, although the class demographics of university students changed “significantly” during that time to include more students from low-income families.

In 2001, Kenneth Oldfield, an emeritus professor of public administration at the University of Illinois at Springfield, and Richard Conant from the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, conducted a small-scale survey of the faculty at a Big Ten university. Over half of the 567 professors who responded said they had parents who were doctors, lawyers, or other professionals. Less than 2 percent of the respondents said their parents had jobs in the lowest 20 percent of the socioeconomic scale, in fields like farm work or dry cleaning.

What education destroys

Many people who identify themselves as working-class cite a family history of jobs involving manual labor, service work, and rock-bottom pay. Some, like Mulder, have earned a good living working with their hands. However, the social status of a well-paid manual laborer can be quite different from that of a well-paid white-collar worker.  

Growing up, Mulder used to accompany her father, a plumber, to his weekend jobs. She says that although he earned as much or more than many of the people in the suburb where she grew up, she was “treated differently” because she was a plumber’s daughter.

For Mulder, being working class is about more than money. It is about knowing how to “get your hands dirty,” something she thinks many Ph.D.’s have little experience doing.

Carolyn Law is an editor with fellow working-class academic, C. L. Barney Dews, of This Fine Place So Far From Home: Voices of Academics from the Working Class, a book that features narratives of scholars from working-class and poor backgrounds. She observes, “For poor and working-class people, access to higher education is all about class.”

In This Fine Place, Law and Dews examine the “oxymoron” of the working-class academic label. In theory, earning a Ph.D. should propel a person into the middle class. It is not that simple, however. A college degree does not change a person’s past, and many working-class intellectuals feel deeply connected to their blue-collar roots.

Law still remembers the conversation she had years ago with her mother, a widow who worked a number of low-paying jobs to keep the family going after her husband died. “Education destroys something,” she told her daughter. Law agrees. “It was a break, and it did break something,” she says.

“It comes out in the way I talk. I can hear myself as different from my family now.” To illustrate her point, she contrasts what she calls her “higher education-educated accent” with the Ozark hillbilly twang of her relatives.

Law did graduate work in modern literature at the University of Minnesota, but left the school to pursue a full-time editing career. Her most shocking encounter with class in the classroom occurred while she was an undergraduate in Missouri. The professors in her education courses often talked about “at-risk” children — kids who have no books at home and whose parents do not read to them. Such kids, they warned, would always be a “problem” in the classroom.

“They kept painting this picture of a culturally deprived and deficient home that created this culture of at-risk children,” Law remembers. “And I was one of them.” That was the moment when she concluded that “to be valued in society, I’d have to shift my allegiance. I’d have to buy into the professors’ message, and turn a very critical eye on my home life.”

Law, who was raised in a home with no books, said the professors’ words made her ashamed and ambivalent. “You, on the one hand, hate your past, but want to defend it,” she explains. Her experience might explain why it is so difficult to pin down numbers of working-class Ph.D.’s. Scholars who study the class dynamics of academia use the phrase “class closet” to describe the mentality of Ph.D.’s from working-class and poor families who refuse to talk about their class origins out of fear that their middle-class colleagues will look down on them.

Hidden bigotry

Some working-class Ph.D.’s, like Marjorie Gurganus, think their professional progress has been hindered by middle-class colleagues who buy into negative class stereotypes. Gurganus is a law student who spends her spare time doing pro bono tax work in low-income communities. Before starting law school, she earned her Ph.D. in genetics at North Carolina State University. Her father made his living as a factory maintenance worker while pursuing his law degree at night. Though he eventually finished law school and set up his own practice, he never made much money as a lawyer, and the family still qualified for food stamps.

Gurganus, who worked at McDonald’s for two years while in high school, recalls one Ph.D. who would make fun of her for having worked at a fast-food job. She says that, instead of being impressed by her hardscrabble skills and work ethic, ”He was just horrified” and viewed her as “a contamination” in the lab. She thinks academics from working-class and poor backgrounds take a professional risk when they talk to colleagues about past jobs or problems with money. “Some of them have always worked in a nice, clean place that was always advancing their career,” says the Jacksonville, North Carolina native, who did her undergraduate work at Cornell University. She thinks some middle-class Ph.D.’s have trouble relating to people who have to “deliver pizzas for eight dollars an hour rather than work in a lab for five” just to make enough money to buy groceries. “They start viewing you as someone who has these problems,” she says.

Gurganus left the genetics field in part because she was unsuccessful in landing a position as a professor, a circumstance she feels was partly related to her class background. She describes the Ph.D.’s she was competing with as “more established.” She says many of them already had the standard middle-class accoutrements — “a home, a couple of cars, a stable family, hobbies” — in addition to strong scientific backgrounds. Gurganus believes that, when choosing among candidates with near-equal academic credentials, middle-class professors have little incentive to hire someone from the working classes. She sums up the mindset this way: “If there are several of you who are smart, why take the one who doesn’t have the same background as me?”  

Blue-collar bonding

There is an irony inherent in academic elitism. After all, school is supposed to help level the playing field for people from economically underprivileged backgrounds. Students from working-class and poor families often expect a college education to increase their professional options and provide them with opportunities that their parents did not have. When that optimism butts with class realities, the effects can be painfully disillusioning.

Barbara Peters is a working-class academic from Oshkosh, Wisconsin, who teaches sociology at Long Island University’s Southampton College. “When you’re brought up in working-class and poverty-class situations, you’re taught that education is the ticket out,” she says. “It’s like Nirvana: You’re going to go to college, and your life is going to change. So you’re kind of idealistic.”

Acknowledging that a degree doesn’t offer the access it seems to promise, in 1993, Peters founded an online support group called Working-Class Academics, where professors, Ph.D. students, and independent scholars can discuss what it feels like to be working-class in academia. The group, which started with just 25 members, now has between 250 and 300.

“It’s probably the thing I’m most proud of in my academic career,” says Peters, whose mother was a school cook.

Not everyone is impressed by her activism, however. Peters’s views were once challenged during an online discussion with fellow intellectuals. One person criticized the concept of class labels, saying that people change classes throughout their lives. The same person said that she herself had chosen to be working-class by taking a job as a waitress.

“If you chose to be working class, then you aren’t working class,” Peters replied. That exchange prompted Peters to start the Working-Class Academics list.

Peters, who walks with crutches due to a degenerative arthritis condition, points out that being disabled adds another dimension to her concerns about discrimination. She also notes the challenges faced by women and people of color in the academy. “It’s a matrix of oppression,” she concludes.

Despite the criticism she has faced (some have called her a “reverse classist”), Peters is determined to keep reaching out to working-class intellectuals. “We are here. It would be wonderful if people from the upper classes would listen.” Citing growth in the Working-Class Academics list’s membership, she adds, “I think there are more working-class academics out there than we’d even realized.”

Money too tight to mention

While in graduate school, Amy Feistel worked multiple research assistantships to avoid taking out loans she knew she could never repay. She says she was criticized for spending too much time at work and not enough time on her studies. She remembers one scholar telling her that she was “not cut out for academic work” and would “be better as support personnel than as a scholar.”

Such comments did little to bolster Feistel’s image of herself as an academic. “I felt like I was not provided with the appropriate support to build the analytical skills required to be a scholar,” she says.

Feistel, whose parents struggled to support five children on modest missionary salaries, did graduate work in cultural politics at a top-ranked university. Her family history reveals a mix of classes. She describes her father’s relations as upper-middle-class and college educated, “with well-provided, secure futures.” Relatives on her mother’s side, however, have always had financial problems, often raising large numbers of children on low military salaries.

While Feistel appreciates the support she received from some of her professors, she insists that “one or two people hardly make up for a difficult system.” She adds, “I have always been forthright about my circumstances, but have found the circumstances often make others uncomfortable.”

For working-class academics with few financial resources, the economic obstacles to graduate education begin long before the courses start. “It’s just difficult at every step of the way.” says Paige Adams, who holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience from Baylor University. She had to scrape together nearly $100 just to take the GRE, a large investment for a woman who waited tables, taught aerobics, and took out $35,000 in loans to finance her undergraduate degree at the University of Houston. She handwrote all of her applications to graduate school because she could not afford a computer. To make matters worse, some of the schools to which she applied did not offer application fee waivers.

“This whole idea that you have to have all of this money upfront puts aspiring working-class scholars at a disadvantage from the start,” Adams insists.

Most Ph.D. students put up with long hours and low pay as teaching and research assistants. However, Adams thinks those from working-class and poor families have it especially hard. “Most people I knew in graduate school had parents that helped them out,” she says. “There weren’t a lot of students there from poor families.”

Feistel remarks, “Working-class academics face the usual issues that all academics face, but I believe the issues are exacerbated by the concerns for daily living: income, housing, food, transportation.”

Jennifer Gibbons, a pharmacology Ph.D. student at Duke University, relates, “I find that many people here in graduate school went to private high schools, or at least large schools where they had the opportunity to have honors classes and take Advanced Placement tests.” Her own high school offered “no real honors classes” and only one AP test: English. The Indiana native continues, “I feel as if I had very many lost opportunities at my school, but had no choice — my parents couldn’t afford to send me anywhere else.”

Carol Williams, a professor of Women’s Studies at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, Canada, felt similarly disadvantaged coming into graduate school. “Poor results on the GRE is perhaps where I felt most disabled coming to graduate school initially,” Williams recounts. “I felt I came to the exam already lacking basic skills. No account is taken in standard testing for cultural or economic differences, and I feel this favors not only Caucasians, but those from wealth.”

A different world

Sociology professor Michael Schwalbe relaxes in his paper-packed office where a poster for his book, Remembering Reet and Shine, a biography of two working-class African American men living in the South, hangs near the door. Sporting shorts and sneakers, he talks about his journey from Boys Technical School in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, to North Carolina State University in Raleigh. “I haven’t pursued my career in a conventional way,” says Schwalbe. On his way to becoming an academic, Schwalbe worked as a mechanic, a bartender, a music promoter, and a nature writer.

He calls his decision to buck family tradition and pursue a non-vocational path “risky but freeing,” though he admits he was a little lost at first. “I didn’t know what you do to become a professor.” When he decided to pursue his Ph.D., he considered only two schools: Washington State University for its natural surroundings and the University of Texas at Austin for its folk rock music scene. That way, he figured, if the sociology path did not work out, he could easily pursue one of his other passions. He did not even consider applying to the prestigious University of California at Berkeley, though one of his professors urged him to do so. At that time, Schwalbe had no concept of what he calls “the prestige factor,” and how going to a school like Berkeley might influence his professional future.

Most of the working-class Ph.D.’s interviewed for this article say they grew up knowing much less about the academic world in general than their middle-class peers. “You mean there’s school after this school?” was working-class academic Beverly Rockhill’s reaction when her undergraduate cohorts at Princeton started talking about doing a Ph.D.

The language of academia shocked Jodie Lawston more than anything. “They were talking very theoretically and using language I had never even dreamed of,” recalls the sunny-voiced Long Island native. She describes the students in her graduate program as being from wealthy families and “worlds ahead” in terms of vocabulary. Lawston found their theoretical lingo intimidating at first, but now pokes fun at the bulky phrases. Her answering machine greeting instructs unsuspecting callers to leave their name, phone number, and “a brief ontological explanation of women’s existential dilemmas.”

“The academy is a place for ideas and not for activists.”

During one of her graduate seminars, Lawston suggested that scholars put social theory into practice. According to her, a classmate erupted, “The academy is a place for ideas and not for activists.” Lawston was stunned. She later heard a similar comment from another colleague.

Lawston, whose father is a construction worker, grew up having to deal with things like the phone being disconnected and the heat being cut off in the middle of the winter. “We were not philosophizing at the dinner table,” she laughs. She thinks some of her middle-class counterparts take a hands-off attitude toward social activism because they have not had to do without basic necessities. “Even though they study classism, that’s all they do — study it.” she says. “They don’t really struggle with it.”

Working-class academics themselves struggle with it in different ways. Monique Lyle, a Ph.D. student in Duke University’s political science department, remembers being “really class-conscious” when she began her studies at the elite school. But for Lyle, class has always been a question of both money and race. “In a lot of ways, class distinctions are along racial lines,” notes Lyle, who is black.

Jason Allen, an assistant research professor at Duke, came to the United States from Barnsley, England, and earned his doctorate in exercise physiology from Louisiana State University. He lives with his pal, Gordon, a tomcat who paws for attention during our phone interview. Allen sums up the difference between the United States’ and England’s ideas about class this way: “In England, they care where you came from. In America, they care where you’re going.” Allen thinks American class distinctions are based more on money than birth, but, like Lyle, he also believes those distinctions are impacted heavily by race.

Allen, whose mother works in a bakery factory, has found that many American academics hold British people in high regard. He believes the Yorkshire accent that might have hindered his professional advancement in his native land actually worked to his advantage here in the States. “I moved from working-class to upper-middle class in the blink of an eye,” he says.

The discomfort of straddling

Several working-class academics speak of feeling torn between the world of their families and that of their peers. Carol Williams had a tough time explaining her academic ambitions to her mother. “When I was raising money to attend my program in a master’s degree in England, she stated, ‘Why all this trouble and pain to get a few letters after your name?’” Williams recalls. “She didn’t comprehend the motives for advanced education, nor did she understand what exactly we did there.”

Lyle has had similar troubles. “[My mom] thinks I talk like a white girl,” she laughs. Though she has a strong relationship with her family and loves going home, she does not think they have a real sense of what she does. She feels removed from her extended family and worries that she does not fit in with the black working-class community where she grew up.

Despite the challenges they face, most of the working-class Ph.D.’s interviewed say they benefited from going to graduate school. “I just had a great graduate school experience,” says Adams. “I had a great job, a great boss  …  It just felt like a family. I made a lot of good friends.”

Like Adams’, most of Mulder’s experiences in academia have been positive. Still, Mulder admits, “I don’t know anybody else like me.” Mulder now teaches labor studies to workers and unionists at a satellite campus of Indiana University, a job she got in part because of her unusual life path. “That’s precisely why they hired me,” she notes. “There are not too many Ph.D.’s that know how to be a worker.”

The hybrid advantage

The same family relationships that can complicate a working-class Ph.D.’s relationship to academia can also be a vital source of support. In working-class families where no one has attended college, there is often a sense of vicarious accomplishment in watching one of their own go all the way.

Paige Adams’ mother has been her biggest cheerleader, urging her to pursue the college education she herself always wanted. “She always felt that she missed out by not going to college,” says Adams.  

Jodie Lawston thought of dropping out many times during those first few years of graduate school, but her mother’s words helped her stay the course: “You gotta do it ‘cause we never did.”

In the end, having a foot in both worlds might be one of the working-class academic’s greatest assets. “I’m resigned to a sort of hybrid status, which, as I grow older, I recognize gives me a unique and under-represented intellectual perspective on many issues,” Rockhill says.

Feistel, who now works in educational administration, says her experiences have made her more understanding of the challenges facing working-class students. “I’m in a better position to understand a working-class student,” she remarks. “I’ve been on both sides of the system, and I know how the system works.”

“Mostly what makes me different is a consciousness of what work really means,” adds Law, whose father made his living digging basements with a bulldozer. “To hear some tenured professor talk about their work environment like they’re some kind of miner  …  it really hurts me.”

Other working-class academics, like Schwalbe and Allen, say their life experiences have made them extremely adaptable. “You can move in almost any environment and function with almost any group of people,” says Allen.

Jodie Lawston, who felt “so inferior” to her middle-class colleagues when she started graduate school, now views her working-class background as an asset. “I think it gives you a stronger perspective on everything. I think you’re able to relate to people better,” she says.

STORY INDEX

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Working Class Academics List
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Strangers in Paradise: Academics from the Working Class by Jake Ryan and Charles Sackrey

 

Touching the untouchables

Mother Teresa’s good works rubbed off on a San Francisco masseuse.

Click here to enter the visual essay.

Mary Ann Finch sits “Rolf” down on a makeshift massage table — a plastic crate — and digs her gentle fingers into his back and neck, releasing years of knots and tension. For a moment, Rolf’s ocean-weathered face seems to relax. Since his wife died, alcohol has taken its toll on the 49-year-old who lives in one of the city’s homeless camps.

While most San Franciscans edge away from the poor and the homeless, people like Rolf, Finch has devoted her career to touching them and training others to do the same.

After a trip to India in 1997, Finch, a massage practitioner, opened the Care Through Touch Healing Institute, a clinic and school devoted to massaging the homeless. While abroad, she studied and observed Mother Teresa, the late Roman Catholic nun and well-known humanitarian. Finch was so moved by Mother Teresa’s work with the poor that she decided to use her “caring touch” skills to help the underprivileged and homeless back in San Francisco.

Hands-on massage is just the first step in Finch’s work. She uses touch as a vehicle to make contact with her clients, to elevate their self-esteem, and to eventually assist them in finding shelters, rehabilitation programs, and jobs.

The institute is located on Golden Gate Avenue in the Tenderloin District, but Finch can be found at a number of locations around the city, including homeless shelters, recovery and drop-in centers, residential hotels, or simply “working the streets.”

Finch also finds time to train interns from around the world on the art of massage. After an intense and lengthy workshop, the interns head out to local spots to begin their work lifting the spirits of the poor, the ailing, and the forgotten.

Sister Elsie and Sister Mary Ellen, both graduates of Finch’s program, are Catholic nuns who came to San Francisco after working to build clinics and schools in developing countries. They will take pillows and towels to a local men’s shelter and, after a brief greeting, begin to massage the “untouchables.” The client will sit under a pair of healing hands, his head lowered, with a look of ease and relief slowly appearing on his face. Some clients drift off while others speak quietly to their caregivers, identifying particular physical pains to focus on, or sometimes voicing personal concerns. After 20 minutes or so, time is up. Reluctantly, the grateful client says goodbye while the next client sits down for “care through touch.”

Following one such session with Sister Elsie, a client stands up to say goodbye. Before leaving, he asks for one more favor.

“Sure, what’s that?” she asks.

“A hug!”