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To love oneself

Reading the tale of Narcissus, the young man who fell in love with the image of himself, reminds us that human nature has perhaps not evolved as much as we would like to think. In the tale, Narcissus spurning his male suitors sends one over the deep end. The rejected young man, Ameinias, uses the sword given to him by Narcissus to commit suicide. His dying prayer is that one day Narcissus realizes the pain of unrequited love. Being a moral tale, the unfortunate Narcissus looks into a pool of water, becoming enchanted by his own reflection. Sadly for him, a second Narcissus fails to emerge from the pool, leaving Narcissus a victim of his own image.

The recent shootings at Virginia Tech bring the concept of narcissism to the forefront. Time's special report includes an essay supporting the idea that the serial killer's inability to focus on others and strong need to have the world revolve around himself plays a leading role in his evolution as a killer. While narcissism is a serious disorder that is estimated to affect .7 to 1% of the population, there exists the viewpoint that, at least in America, a healthy dose of self-love is not necessarily a bad thing. Child-development experts point out that young children who receive positive input about themselves, as well as opportunities to achieve mastery, learn to value themselves as well as their abilities. So why is it that as our youngsters mature, we fail them by promoting the outer instead of the inner beauty?

May's issue of Seventeen offers readers a chance to win a different pair of shoes each day. The graphic pops off the page, a calendar displaying an Imelda Marcus boutique of shoes. Not to be dismissed, the magazine also includes information on handbags, clothing, makeup, hair bands, jewelry, and perfume. Seventeen, of course, is geared to young women who, by virtue of their stage of development, are highly attuned to their physical appearance. Compare the smiling faces of the Virginia Tech victims, looking like a hallowed version of Hollywood Squares; it is easy to imagine that they, too, were concerned about the face that looked into the camera. Putting your best foot forward is simply the American way. Wanting success and the items that mark us as successful will generally not turn most into narcissists or serial killers. And yet…to the narcissist, other people are simply accessories, a bracelet, a dash of lipstick, a pair of shoes, just a little something to bring attention to the true draw, themselves.

In a society that is filled with opportunities to promote yourself, how do we encourage young people to reflect on the needs of others? Glancing through the headlines, it appears that there is a dearth of role models willing to put themselves second, let alone last. Headlines sell papers  the more outlandish the better — and our demand for the latest dirt will get us that and more. Filled with longing for that something just a bit better, are we blinded from the connection between television shows, magazines, advertisements, and songs that continually remind us that while we are special, just one more something can't hurt. People, things. Things, people. Linked by the common denominator of desire, do we accept responsibility for those who cross the line? As we contribute to the pool of materialism, whose faces are reflected? Cho Seung-Hui gunning down his classmates? Ted Bundy luring his victims? Another beautiful model peddling a pair of shoes? Surrounded by our desires, do we pull back to remember that denial can serve as a reminder that life is about more than ourselves? Things, people, people, things. To the serial killer, it's a world of one size fits all.        

 

The last time I’ll ever say the words “Don Imus”

For two weeks now, I've been biting my tongue about former CBS host Don Imus and comments he made on a broadcast regarding the Rutgers women's basketball team. The phrase "nappy headed hos" has been thrown around far too much, and as a journalist, I'm the last one who wants to give him any more unnecessary publicity.

Now Imus, who also works with WFAN-AM/New York is reportedly suing the corporation for $120 million. In the draft of suits, allegedly Imus argues that the network expected his content to be both controversial and irreverent, and that his comments did not violate FCC rules.

I'm a journalist, and I love the First Amendment. Because of it, I'm able to say what I've got to say, publish articles that people take offense to, and blog on this and other websites. But people need to expect that when they say things that are deviant from society's norms, an audience will get riled up.

I'm a college student, and an editor at my campus newspaper, and because of a story I ran and a source I used, it is likely that someone will be sued. I knew it going in, and Imus knew that his commentary about the women of Rutgers would cause some backlash. Did he think that he would get fired? That's unlikely. But unfortunately in this society, words have recourse.

I'm from Kansas City and have been following the Imus controversy through the sports columns of Jason Whitlock. My boyfriend said that he has made some of the most profound commentary on race and has emerged into this arena level-headed and with a fresh perspective. I agree.

Like Whitlock, I think we need to really, really open our eyes. As a black woman, I'm not threatened by Imus and don't feel like less of a person.

The women of Rutgers are still good basketball players and likely still good people. One ignorant comment did not change their season or personalities. I feel like by talking about this issue so much, we've just worsened the actual comment and magnified it.

If we're going to target one guy for an inappropriate comment, we should be targeting all of rap and hip hop for comments made in a similar vein. I'm not pissed off about Imus; I am simply disinterested.

Don Imus  please just shut up. I can't take another second of you in the spotlight, really. So you're out of a job, but you just got hours and hours of free publicity in exchange for espousing racist and sexist views on air.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if Imus tried to create a media circus and nobody came. Imagine a courtroom not crowded with reporters and interested individuals. Imagine if his face wasn't on our televisions and his voice didn't echo on the radio constantly…Imagine if Imus went back to what he was before  an insignificant, meaningless shock jock. I'd be happier.

So would everyone else.

 

History lessons

Years ago, former German chancellor Konrad Adenauer described history as “the sum total of the things that could have been avoided.” But must history always be something we regret, something we’d rather bury and forget?

Not necessarily, suggests writer Pearl Buck, who explained, “If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday.” In this issue of InTheFray, we attempt to do just that. Matthew Fishbane begins by exploring The culture of being, when a transnational adoptee returns to her native Colombia in search of clues to her identity, only to discover that reconciling her two selves — American and Colombian — is both harder and easier than she’d imagined.

Meanwhile, poet Rae Peter looks at the joys and limitations of one’s female heritage in Shapes that brush against you in the dark. And ITF Books Editor Nikki Bazar uncovers Something borrowed, something new in Jonathan Lethem’s novel You Don’t Love Me Yet, the novelist’s newest venture in cultural borrowing.

We then journey to Cuba, where Lita Wong learns to trust the locals during a walk to San Diego de los Banos Alone in the forest. And halfway around the world, Aditi Bhaduri chats with Raphael Cohen-Almagor, organizer of the “Gaza First” campaign, about living in A society under constant stress and the prospects for a resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Speaking of conflict, former ITF Commentary Editor Zachariah Mampilly recounts the first 20th century genocide — it is probably not the one you’re thinking of — and discovers how difficult The labeling of genocide can be when it comes to Western interests and that hazy line between “violent conflict” and so-called ethnic cleansing.

Thanks for partaking in this history lesson with us!

Coming next month: ITF gives up the skinny on the 21st century’s obsession with FAT.

Laura Nathan
Editor
Buffalo, New York

 

Surrender monkeys

I don’t know, but like some spellbinder straight out of a Tolkien book, President Bush has worked his magic again.

Democrats were failing to muster the required votes in the House to override Bush’s veto of a war-spending bill last week, and given the sad state of anti-war assertiveness within Democratics on the Hill, it seems Bush’s desired no-strings-attached funding may not be beyond hope.

Despite polls vastly supporting the Democratic positions in the war-torn nation  polls like the April 26 Gallup questionnaire indicating 57 percent of Americans support setting a timetable for removing troops from Iraq, whereas only 39 percent supported Bush’s proposal to keep troops in as long as necessary to achieve victory  the Democratic leadership still appears weary to stake a stand against the administration policy of indefinite deployment.

As Senator Russell D. Feingold of Wisconsin told The New York Times, "There is virtually no one in our caucus who does not want to be associated with trying to get us out of this war. The only thing that is slowing some of them is the fear that somehow they will be accused of doing something that will put the troops at risk. The desire for political comfort is still overwhelming the best judgment even of some Democrats."

Translation: The Democrats are so afraid of making any politically exploitable misstep on Iraq or looking soft on national security that they are failing the American people and the troops.

Nothing “supports the troops,” to use the inane slogan the administration PR geniuses coined so effectively, more than getting them out of harm's way in an endless, goal-less conflict which has catastrophically increased instability in the region and continues to aid terrorist recruiters in finding new members.

I am with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York. The Democrats should revoke the war powers granted to the president and send Bush a memo straight from the majority of Americans: The game is up. Add an end to this open-ended debacle and do what is truly best for the troops. Stop making their enlistments and tours of duty in Iraq longer.

The only thing Democrats would surrender by setting a withdrawal date from Iraq, after all, is another failed policy by what history will surely remember as one of our worst administrations.

 

Petitions

It's time for you, the little guy, to take a minute to try to make the world a better place. Then tell two friends. And have them tell two…

First, on June 26, the ACLU hopes to deliver a 10,000-signature petition to Congress urging them to:

1. Restore habeas corpus and due process.
2. Pass the Restoring the Constitution Act of 2007.
3. End the torture and abuse in secret prisons.
4. Stop extraordinary rendition: secretly kidnapping people and sending them to countries that torture.
5. Close the detention center at Guantanamo Bay and give those held there access to justice.
6. Investigate wrongdoing and ensure those who broke the law are held accountable.
7. Restore American values and the rule of law.

I know it's a tall order, but a girl can dream. So please, go sign it (via Boing Boing, of course).

After you do that, take another minute to help out the fellow little guys. From the Free Press website: "Postal regulators have accepted a proposal from media giant Time Warner that would stifle small and independent publishers in America. The plan unfairly burdens smaller publishers with higher postage rates while locking in special privileges for bigger media companies." Now, is that fair? Don't we just hate that? Then go sign it.

 

It’s not you, it’s them

There should be a rule on how grandiose a self-gratifying claim can be. For example, last week Bill O’Reilly used his Web and newspaper column to glad-hand himself for “knowing” that Rosie O’Donnell would leave “The View.”

Reading it, you would have thought Mr. O. was pulling strings behind the scenes as some well-respected newsman, instead of just being a steamy pile of upper-class, Bush-voting crap.

But that’s Bill: he makes outlandish claims because he thinks he’s bigger than Guy Fawkes Day. This week, however, Bill has gone too far.

People who watch his drivel on TV will be familiar with his recent inspired ranting against Virginia Beach Chief of Police Jake Jacocks, who did not call Homeland Security over Alfredo Ramos, an illegal immigrant, who had had four run-ins with the law. This has Bill miffed  and maybe rightly so  because on March 30 Ramos killed 17-year-old Alison Kunhardt and 16-year-old Tessa Tranchant when he drunkenly hit their car. Of course Bill felt Ramos should have been sent back to Mexico already, before this tragedy occurred.

Virginia Beach’s Jacocks didn’t share this idea because Ramos had not been a violent offender. More pragmatically Jacocks said he didn’t want to get federal authorities involved, possibly because Feds don’t play well with the locals; Feds like to have a lot of power and that’s something of an issue with people who like freedom. This fact has got Bill, who apparently thinks the Feds should have a camera in every home and a tracker on every computer, angrier than a pit bull in a room full of cats.

Under duress with the bad press he was getting all around, Jacocks changed the policies of his department.

What does Bill say?

“After my reporting battered the government of Virginia Beach, it has changed its dangerous and irresponsible policy. But Jacocks got in a last shot calling me, your humble correspondent, ‘pathetic.’”

Did you read that? He claims it was his reporting that changed things and then has the audacity to call himself humble. I’d call that an oxymoron if that were not two syllables more than what O’Reilly is.

The fact is that Bill wasn’t the only person “reporting” on the Ramos case. It got a lot of attention in the press (I’m betting he got it from the AP) and the public was angered. O’Reilly didn’t do anything, the people did. But The Culture Warrior is not above hyperbole.

My whole point is that people responding to the policies of their government make changes  not middle-aged white men pontificating from inside of a box. Anyone who thinks they do may require therapy.

However, maybe Bill is on to something. Maybe everyone with a forum for opinion should use that to make claims that they are the ones that make the differences.

All right, here is mine: I’m the reason Lindsey Lohan is doing so well with rehab. You see, I’ve publicly stated that she is a “hotty” several times but that I don’t like “drunks.” Hearing this Lindsey must have chosen to turn her life around.

Now I’m off to cause a thunderstorm in Wyoming and end the LAPD’s violent ways. Thank god I have this forum, or nothing would ever change. Aren’t I swell? I did a great job.

 

Embrace the pale!

May is Skin Cancer Detection and Prevention Month. That means my anti-sun habits are not just acceptable this month but trendy, too. 

I could make many excuses for how pale I am. I'm a bookworm  all those hours indoors reading. I'm part Irish  we're not a sun-friendly people. My skin doesn't tan, it blisters  well, that's not an excuse, just a painful truth. Besides all that, tans just don't do it for me. On myself or anyone else. I understand the image  J. Lo, Paris, jet-setters in general with exotic tans and a big purse that costs enough to feed a small nation. I also understand the economics behind the advertising  so much profit to be made off the bronzing powders, sprays, lotions, and tanning business, trying to look like an heiress. Intellectually, I get it (if you don't, read the NY Times article spelling it out for you). Personally, I don't like it. I have better things to do with my time than damage my skin. And if I were forced to be on the towel next to you, you'd get an earful from me.

To begin with, it's your health, stupid. A tan is skin damage. Even if the possibility of skin cancer (higher than ever before) means nothing to you, I'll appeal to your vanity. You may like to carry around Gucci bags, but do you want to look like one? Are you going for a crocodile look or something?

Now, this rich-girl image. A century ago the heiress look  only the poor worked outside and tanned  was pale. So pale in fact that they used arsonic-based cream to whiten their skin, which would naturally kill some of them or at least make them extremely ill. Do you think skin cancer from sun damage is any different?

Behind the image: last I heard Paris Hilton had been sentenced to 45 days in prison. Wow  that's hot. Like, burning skin hot. I'm sure some time in "the yard" will allow her to keep her coloring.

I also understand that not all young women out there know how to be their own person. They need an icon from a magazine cover to aesthetically mimic. I can provide some pale versions, some anti-crocodiles. First, Nicole Kidman. Come on  what's not to like? Oscar winner, the richest of all rich girls, and a UNIFEM Goodwill Ambassador. Next, a French version: Julie Delpy. Is anything more chic than a French woman? Last (but not least, I just can't think of more pale actresses at the moment), a youngin', Michelle Trachtenberg. From the NYT article: "In the May issue of Allure magazine, [she] said the pressure to bronze is her pet peeve with beauty advisors at makeup counters. 'They're like, 'Maybe you'd like to warm up your skin tone'…And I'm like, 'No, I'm going to embrace the pale.'" 

That's right, people  embrace the pale!

 

The case of Abdel-Monem Mahmoud

The case of Abdel-Monem Mahmoud, a blogger and member of the Muslim Brotherhood is the second of its kind in Egypt, a country where press freedom has greatly deteriorated in the past few years, according to a report released by the Committee for the Protection of Journalists (CPJ) on May 3, International Press Freedom Day.  The report, entitled “Backsliders,” listed Egypt in seventh place, after Ethiopia, Gambia, Russia, DRC, Cuba, and Pakistan.  Following Egypt were Azerbaijan, Morocco, and Thailand.

Abdel Kareem Soliman was the first blogger to be arrested in Egypt.  He was sentenced in November 2006 to four years in prison for insulting Islam and President Hosni Mubarak.  His trial lasted five minutes.

Monem is quite a different personality from Soliman; a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, he was previously arrested for “belonging to an illegal organization” when he met with Brotherhood members to organize an anti-war rally.  Monem is a devoted human-rights activist, and was among the first to go to Darfur to speak with high-ranking officials there.

He also spoke out about the arrest of fellow Egyptian blogger Soliman, despite his personal disagreement with Soliman's statements against Islam.  In a post written on March 7, 2007 (originally in Arabic) in Monem's own blog, Ana Ikhwan (“I am a brother”), Monem defended Soliman, saying:

To begin with, I disagree with the opinions of Abdel Kareem, but I believe that it’s unfair for the security forces to treat him this way, punish him for his personal opinions, and sentence him for his so-called “contempt for the president.” I believe that this behavior is unfair to a young man who, along with his friends, will not change his ideas simply because he fears punishment at the hands of the security forces.

The post, translated to English by Fatima Azzahra El Azzouzi, is here.

More coverage on the case of Abdel-Monem Mahmoud can be found at the Free Monem site as well as at Global Voices Online.