I find myself caught in one of those "circles of life" — not like the big happy ones seen in The Lion King but rather the type that you keep living through, over and over and over again. You can't jump out. You just keep trying things in hopes that the circle would, at least, widen or in hopes that you will be pulled out.

Let's be honest: the great life is saved for the elite. Recently I read an article stating that opportunity is not about luck, it is about money. Wealth attracts wealth. How often are the destitute saved from their poverty and given a lifetime of success? It happens. However, it does not happen often. Especially not now when talent is everywhere.

Thanks to globalization, talent is no longer unique. One can learn skills in simple DIY steps for free. In the good old days, rare gems were discovered among the wild; people could manipulate others easily and make them believe that their skills were sought worldwide; Bartolomeu Dias even "discovered" an entire country and returned to Portugal to brag about his findings, regardless of the inhabitants that had already been living there for years. Today, everything can be cross referenced; gems can be located and purchased without one having to leave their own comforts; the cheapest option can be found with a click  and the world is no longer a mystery to anyone.

I find myself  sitting at my computer, once again questioning the point of it all. I spent the last 17 years studying; I now have two degrees, a wealth of useless knowledge, and no job. I would like to believe that the recession is to blame, but the truth is, I don't have the qualifications for most of the jobs that I want.

I've done the three years in retail working in an airless store room. I've saved up, I've splurged, and now I'm broke and wondering what to do next with little hope left in the dream that I have held onto since a child.

My friend suggested that I take a leap of faith and start my own movie business. "Move towards your dream and all shall fall into place," she had advised.

You need money to start your own business. You need money to get into the famous and recognized film schools that are guaranteed to land you your dream career. The movie business is strictly for the elite. To apply for financing you need a convincing business and marketing plan. You need a business. To register your business and website and get yourself on your feet, you need money. Renting equipment is sometimes more expensive than buying your own equipment. Almost nothing is affordable. It's as if I am doomed to be a slave to the system.

Education -> average job -> mediocre life.

Those words of my guidance teacher reverberate at the back of my head hauntingly: "You can have your dreams, Tharuna, but they have to be sensible."

In South Africa, the film industry is small. Only the best, the ones who could afford the private educational institutions, have a real chance of getting in. And only the "previously disadvantaged" are given free opportunities. The middle class have to fight for it. The problem is that my past is like an overly decorated Christmas tree with bad investments (people included). I would be all teeth and claw if I knew that this, starting my own movie business, was the right decision. That I could trust my partner. That there was a guarantee that people would be willing to finance a girl with only a dream and some talent.

There is no guarantee, is there?

Tharuna Devchand