We’ve inherited several assumptions about life.

Some day you will have a nice home to call your own.

A spouse and a baby.

Travel. You’ll spend money on stuff you don’t need. Stuff you do need.

There it is. Life. As a consumer.

I don’t know if I ever thought much about it as a child, other than assuming It would happen eventually. Indeed, being the fringe, red-haired, counter-cultural type, I didn’t even envision spending $10,000 on a wedding. Which I still hope I don’t do. But "grown-up life" did happen. Just in a very different way. I don’t have the house, the money (though, I’m working on it), or the spouse. And I’m finding that most of the post-modern gen doesn’t either. For one reason or another. So, why are we different from our parents and their parents?

These last few weeks I’ve stumbled upon several articles that have caused me to ponder how traditional roles crash up against the Gen X and Y protective casings. Those plastic-clam shells that frustrate the Old.

In The Washington Post’s March story, "My House. My Dream. It Was All an Illusion," reporter Brigid Schulte interviewed an immigrant woman who made a really bad decision. She and her husband bought a $430,000 home in Alexandria, Va., that they couldn’t afford. Through the manipulation of a friend and mortgage miscommunication, the Ortiz family found its dream of home ownership ending in foreclosure. 

She didn’t read the small print. If you are ignorant and manipulated, the things that once meant stability can be taken away.

When I was a beat reporter in a small town in the middle of Nevada, I worked with a guy who, upon hearing any news of business manipulation, would say: "burn it down." He meant burn down the institution. I think that’s what post-mods have been doing. It doesn’t work for us. So we burn it all down. In many ways, that leads to creative re-growth.

But, sometimes, in very few instances, it leads to utter shit. Most the time (not all the time) our parents have one thing up on us. They know how to communciate. With each other. And I don’t mean via email or text messaging.

Relationships. A relationship. The thing everybody wants but nobody can keep. The plot twist (or conflict) in every movie. My Yoplait. Your Powerbar. Emily Yoffe’s March 20th Slate.com column argues that couples should wait until after marriage to have children. The age of single parenthood began about 25 years ago, I think. Many of us dreamed of "finding the one." Instead we got pregnant. And someone ditched out. Why is that? Yoffe blames a lack of commitment. She has a few impressive statistics. She says that the institution that many Gen X and Yers call "archaic" is actually a social structure that benefits the couple and offspring. Yet, I really wonder if our age, raised on convenient yellow cake and instant gratification pudding, can make that commitment. Not, I believe, when we are manipulated into relationships. Or when wants and needs are miscommunicated. Or when conceptions of love and marriage are completely misunderstood and relational wisdom is gleaned from pop culture. And all of that is the norm in this age. 

Finally, a bit of sage advice for the struggling consumer in this declining gilded age. Tighten your belts. My grandmother used to say that. I don’t think we know the meaning of the phrase.

Becky Ann Bosshart