I recently caught a story online at MSNBC on the apparent rise of self-mutilation among college students. According to the article, a study led by a Cornell psychologist, 17 percent of nearly 3,000 Cornell and Princeton students had purposely injured themselves, with 70 percent doing so multiple times.

A general definition of self-mutilation (a.k.a. self-abuse or self-injury), is the act of purposely injuring oneself, either through cutting, burning, or other methods.

To most of us, the idea of self-mutilation is bewildering, bizarre, and disturbing. To those of us who’ve self-injured, it’s something else altogether.

Obviously, I can’t speak for anyone except for myself, and I am one of those individuals who, while in college, self-mutilated. At the time, there were many factors that contributed to my depression (that’s my own self-diagnosis) and, ultimately, to taking a knife and cutting myself. At the time, I’d never heard of self-mutilation, didn’t know about the “phenomenon,” didn’t know anyone who did such things. All I knew was that I needed a way to lay bare the pain on the inside to the outside.

The article notes that self-injuring is usually not considered a suicide attempt, and at the time of my experience, I wasn’t trying to kill myself by doing it. I think for me it was almost an alleviation of some kind; a way to express something that I could not verbally and a way to remove myself from increasing thoughts of suicide.

For some young people, the act becomes a rush, an addictive daily release. Although I never repeated it, I know that something changed for me when I did it. Oddly enough, I felt that things had somehow gotten lighter, that I could make my way through the “real world,” and that things would improve.

Perhaps it was the attention I received from my friends after they learned about my behavior and the care they took around me that gave me a sense of self-importance and esteem. Whatever it was, I can see how the act becomes repetitive, why it becomes seemingly vital.

Maybe self-abuse has increased, but it certainly is not new. The author of this study notes that even children as young as fourth grade have self-injured, with peers and classmates mimicking the behavior of one individual.

Whatever reasons lead people to self-injury, whatever temporary relief or help they feel from the act, the answer for me will always be same: there is a better way. Like other things once considered taboo, including depression and suicide, this practice needs to be discussed, and solutions need to be found — not to glorify or encourage the behavior, but to provide other, more positive outlets to let the inside out.

Internet resources:
www.selfinjury.com
www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/selfinjury.cfm
www.focusas.com/Selfinjury.html
http://depression.about.com/od/selfinjury

Desiree Aquino