Okay, I know. I am a hypocrite. In early February, I posted a PULSE item that called for an end to the use of the “conservative” and “liberal” labels. Banish them to the dustbin of history, I said. They’ve worn out their utility. Yet I recently filed a 3,000-word story on Bush’s “Healthy Marriage” initiative, in which I used the word “conservative” no less than 15 times. To add to the outrage, I only used the word “liberal” twice. So I guess I only want to avoid pigeonholing when liberals are being pigeonholed. When it happens to conservatives … ehh, no big deal. They deserve it, anyway.

When someone cuts me off in traffic, I honk and shout profanities. But when I cut someone off and he honks at me, I get indignant. “Who does this guy think he is?”

If someone is tailgating me, he’s a reckless asshole. If I’m tailgating him, I’m just in a hurry.  

But hypocrisy loves company, so thank God I’m not alone.

John Kerry is filthy rich, but he advocates an equitable distribution of wealth. (At least Bush got rich the respectable way, by inheritance.) If you truly believe what you say, John, why not start distributing some of that wealth right now? It’s 20-minute walk to Beacon Hill; I can come and pick up a check. While I’m there, maybe you can explain the three mammoth, gas-chugging SUVs parked outside your door. How goes the struggle for energy independence?

And we can’t let Dubya off the hook. The man who brought integrity back to the White House didn’t exactly kick hypocrisy out. When Bush said to Tim Russert, “The policy of this administration is to be — is to be clear and straightforward,” he was already on thin ice. But then they had this exchange:

Tim Russert:  Will you testify before the commission?

President Bush:  This commission? You know, testify? I mean, I’d be glad to visit with them. I’d be glad to share with them knowledge. I’d be glad to make recommendations, if they ask for some.

I’m interested in getting — I’m interested in making sure the intelligence gathering works well.

Enough said. But pointing out Bush’s hypocrisies can get boring. Republicans have only been working on Kerry for a couple of months. Eventually, that will get old, too. In American politics, if you call your opponent a hypocrite, you’re only trying to make him look bad to voters. You certainly don’t expect them to start cultivating integrity.

When everyone is hypocritical, hypocrisy gets normalized. Without absolving ourselves of accountability, we have to acknowledge that we live in a culture that is astonished by real integrity. At best, we regard it as admirably eccentric (think Aaron Feuerstein) — at worst, kinda sad (Michael Dukakis). We like to throw accusations around, but we consider it naïve to expect anyone to change.

If we won’t insist on integrity from the candidates we support, how can we expect it from those we oppose? The next time you want to call someone a hypocrite, start with your favorite candidate and demand that he do something about it.

If you doubt that Kerry or Bush can be accused of hypocrisy, check out FactCheck.org.

henrypb