Born and raised in Texas, I have frequently reminded people that my identity isn’t tied to the geography, that not everyone in Texas rides a horse, is as conservative as President Bush, has an accent, is white, and is slightly off-kilter. It wasn’t until I lived in Chicago and learned about Texas happenings from the national news that some of those stereotypes seemed to make sense from an outsider’s perspective.

When Andrea Yates drowned her five children, people wanted my opinion on the matter since I was, of course, from Texas and therefore must have some connection or opinion on the matter. The same was true when that woman hit a pedestrian and then drove home with him on her hood, leaving him to die. In neither situation did I feel a personal connection, and I certainly didn’t identify with either of the perpetrators. But I would always roll my eyes and say, “We’re Texas,” an incredibly trite slogan that The University of Texas paid someone over $1 million to come up with (I really wish I was being facetious), or “Don’t mess with Texas,” the slogan for a highway clean-up campaign that got co-opted by Saturday Night Live to imply that Texans are gun-lovin’, death penalty-lovin’, Bush-lovin’ folks. I loathe these stereotypes. Although they are descriptive of many Texans, I would like to think that this is not entirely attributable to their location.

But I’ll admit that even I have begun thinking in these terms, and I’m not quite sure how to break free from them. For instance, when I saw the headline ”Some Texans boycott Girl Scout cookies“ on the Netscape homepage, all I could do was roll my eyes and say, ”We’re Texas.“

After all, Girl Scout cookies are seemingly innocuous, and come on, who doesn’t love a Thin Mint every now and then?  Apparently just about every Girl Scout and her mother in Crawford, Texas (home of the Bush ranch).  One Girl Scout troop is down to two members; one Brownie troop is now defunct.

Albeit not shocking in the midst of the culture war being waged on U.S. soil, the dissolution of Girl Scout troops in Crawford and the refusal to deliver cookies the girls already sold can be traced back to sex.

Apparently, the local Girl Scout organization gave a ”woman of distinction“ award to a Planned Parenthood executive and endorses a Planned Parenthood sex education program, which gives girls and boys information on homosexuality, masturbation and condoms.

I suppose that this act of protest is a great way for these women to show their support for their homeboy GW and his abstinence-promotion policy. And maybe Crawford mothers know best. Maybe unsafe sex promotion makes more sense than safe sex promotion (because let’s be honest, people are going to have sex regardless of the machinations of Girl Scout moms and GW).

But it makes me want eat more than my fair share of Girl Scout cookies. And it makes me forget why I even bother trying to defend the Lone Star State’s reputation, particularly when it seems to be the breeding ground for the new dangerous wave of conservatism that is desperately seeking to take hold of the nation. Yep, we’re Texas.

Laura Nathan-Garner