| The (all too) manly mustache
This would all be much less dramatic had I not chosen television as my line of work. The mustache is one of the rarest sights in the brotherhood of the on-air TV reporter or anchor. Don't think so? Okay, go ahead: Besides John Stossel on ABC News or (perhaps) Geraldo Rivera, who else can you name who has been able to hold onto his bigote (Spanish) and maintain a high level of exposure? That's because once upon a time, news consultants put together focus groups to see how facial hair fared with viewers. Sadly for those of us with hairy lips, we were rated less trustworthy than our clean-shaven counterparts. Apparently, enough viewers think that if you are presenting the news while hiding your upper lip, there might be other things you're hiding as well. It is a fact that facial hair adds years to your face. When I was starting out in the business, I didn't want to look like I was starting out in the business. I laid my foot down from one news director to the next, telling them that the "stache" was part of who I was, and that I wasn't going to shave it. Most of them didn't say another word. Some of them cataloged me as an "ethnic" man and justified to their consultants why I needed to keep it, and why it "worked" for me. After a while, I knew no one was going to fire me because of it. It seemed that me and my beloved masharubu (Swahili) would never have to part ways. Last October, our luck finally ran out. I received a job offer whose only stipulation was--you guessed it--the baffi (Italian) would stay behind. I wrestled with the decision for a while. Then the idiocy of it occurred to me: If I didn't have a mustache, I was no less Indian, and I could always grow it back. Duh! When people get attached to objects in their lives, simple, logical decisions become nearly impossible to make. I asked my closest friends what they thought of my face--before and after. The results of my informal survey have been fascinating. Most of my male friends, especially the clean-shaven ones, are disappointed. They think I looked manlier with the mustache. I don't know if they are being honest in their mustache-envy (because it is true that not every man looks good in one, though I thought it worked for me), or if they are just disturbed by the fact that I have joined the ranks of the smooth-skinned--and suddenly have become a competitor for the affections of their (hair-intolerant) women. I must say that the women around me--in a ratio of 4 to 1--are in favor of the new look. The typical explanations I hear are that I look less like their uncles, that being mustache-less "opens up my face," and (best of all) that I seem more kissable. I've come to the rather odd conclusion that men grow their mustaches more for other men than for women--almost like how women dress for other women more than they do for men. For if the data is truly as lopsided as my (very unscientific) survey suggests, men should be waxing away all hints of facial hair without a second thought. Who knows, I may grow mine back. Every once in a while GQ magazine says that the mustache is making a revival, and one of these days even the Gillette Mach 3 razor might lose its edge. React > The (all too) manly mustache |