Tag Archives: military

 

Holy cats and dogs!

Only a chosen few will be taken in the Rapture. The rest of us will be left down here to suffer for eternity. And your little dogs, too.

A large number of people way more than will actually be saved in this Rapture-thingy think they will get to go upstairs. Believing so must give them a sense of joy, maybe even  hope. But this is tempered by a major concern what about the beloved pets?

Well, would-be-Rapturees, it's your lucky day! For 110 dollars and 15 dollars per additional pet, rest (in everlasting peace) assured that Rover will go to a good atheist home after you've magically disappeared.

Y'all, there's a menagerie of musings in my head about this.

To begin with apparently, this is not a joke. In fact, there's more than one site offering such a service. But it is most certainly a scam. 110 dollars? Whoever created this is a genius!

I want in on this. For 110 dollars, even 10 dollars per person (greed is a sin, you know), I'll take care of your dry-clean only clothes and furs after you've gone. You don't want the damned heathens looting your walk-in closets and tossing your silks in common washing machines, do you? Hell no!

Ok, in all fairness, one site does include the following note: "A portion of income generated from advertising on this site is contributed to community food shelves/food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire." But just a portion, mind you. Not the whole amount to feed the living humans here and now that would be crazy!

Next, a question about the souls of the cute and furry. If God created all creatures, why don't the animals get to go, too? One trip on the Arc all those millenia ago and that's it? Is peeing on the rug really such a terrible sin?

There are 6.7 billion people on Earth. We are all sinners, some more than others. I'm thinking this Rapture selection will be very small, very exclusive. So, how will we know when it has happened? So many people disappear everyday, and we don't even notice. How do we know the Rapture hasn't already happened?

Also, what if you just happen to be kidnapped or disappear or die naturally and lay undiscovered, Rre-rapture, but the network of atheists doesn't know? What if Snowball ends up starving in your apartment, and later on, gets taken in by devil-worshipping (e.g., liberal) neighbors or given to a kill pound by relatives? And you've paid $100 or more for nothing!

I guess a sucker is left behind everyday.

While browsing through these sites, I did have a reality-based idea and was pleased to find that others had thought of it too. Military pets. There are networks out there for soldiers who don't have anyone to take care of their pet during their overseas deployments. I love that there's an alternative for military personnel to giving up their pets for good and never seeing them again. They sacrifice so much to serve their country it's not too much to ask to come home to a best fuzzy friend. One program even has sponsors like Pedigree and Whiskas these are not scams, they're just awesome.

Obviously, I have not done my usual thorough research. I don't know the details about the Rapture or where the religions stand on animal souls. Nor do I want to. I have better things to do with my time. But, occasionally I like to take a break from health care, tea parties, foreclosures, and endless wars and amuse myself. So please, don't enlighten me. Don't correct me. Instead, use that energy to volunteer at an animal or human shelter and do your little part to make the world a better place. Because, honey, we're all stuck here.

 

The $20,000 question

As a child I remember my father telling me about the summer he worked as a brick layer to earn money for college. As the son of a Holiday Inn hostest, college was tantamount to reaching for the stars. By summer’s end, earnings counted, he realized that he was several hundred dollars short of the tuition fee. Back in those days, there were no such things as a Pell grant or guaranteed student loans; there was, however, something called a GI Bill. Designed for soldiers returning from World War II, the GI Bill allowed lower-income persons the opportunity to get their foot in the corporate door. My father looked over the services and decided a few years in the Air Force would be worth a college degree.

I am reminded of this conversation with my father as I read this week’s Washington Post National Weekly Edition, which discusses the Army’s lastest recruitment incentive. The $20,000 "quick-ship" program, which began in late July, encourages new recruits to report to basic training by the end of September. While Army recruiters are stressing that the bonus is the last thing they discuss with potential enlistees, $20,000 on the table is no small sum.

Part of the military family since birth, yes, my father did graduate from college only to find that the Air Force was the corporate he was looking for, I wonder if these individuals really know what that $20,000 buys them. Opportunities to travel the world, free healthcare, money for education, a steady paycheck, and the privilege of serving their country during a time of war is the typical spiel that crosses one’s mind when discussing the benefits of military service. 

Although the war against terrorism has underscored the Army’s true purpose, I still sense a fascination among civilians regarding the “clubbishness” of the military. One only has to tune into Lifetime’s Army Wives to get Hollywood’s version of the rank and file. While some of it rings true, the episode with the stepfather chasing his stepsons around the pool during retreat brings a smile to the lips; it is, as is most of television, a caricature of the reality it represents. Beyond the 12-plus hours a day, the less-than-ideal working conditions, possible monotony, all of which can be said of any number of jobs, lies the possibility of another world: one that may include the chance to lead others, find a passion, and finally move into another social strata. Opportunities aside, the military also offers the chance to miss your child’s birth, to forego lending your sibling a helping hand, or the responsibility of reassuring a child that her father will do everything to keep himself safe, knowing that the father is a POW somewhere in Iraq.

So what’s the difference between my father’s free college education and a 20,000 recruitment bonus? Is it the idea that a college education points towards the future, whereas $20,000 brings to mind bills labeled past due, flatscreen TVs, and, if one plays her cards right, maybe a new car? I realize in a world overwhelmed with things, the temptation to own is reaching epidemic heights. Using material wealth to define one’s self is nothing new; after all, a lot of those GIs used their college diplomas to move solidly into white-collar America. I suppose what makes the $20,000 bonus so crass is that a war is going on, one that is filling caskets, occupying hospital beds, and ending relationships. Yes, the military life has been good to me. My children have been to 33 states at last count, I have been able to take a break from my career to care for my child’s special needs, the free healthcare has been an absolute blessing, and yet, I just can’t get the sight of $20,000 and displaced limbs out of my mind.  

 

Recruiting at school

Whenever we have a special event at my school, like our pre-spring-break party day, just about every branch of the military shows up to recruit. They spread out their free gifts on a table and entice students to sign up and join. The marines do it best. They bring a pull-up bar and an inflatable obstacle course. They challenge students passing by to test their strength, to see if they can do enough pull-ups to be a marine. They have the kids race each other through the obstacles to decide who would make the best marine. These tactics are nearly fool-proof when applied to teenage boys. The chance to beat each other in tests of strength and prove their athletic prowess in front of girls holds an overwhelming allure. It even works on some of the female students.

I have a problem with this recruiting because of how the military targets it. In my district, which is rural, many of the students come from low-income families. I attended a private high school where, although not everyone was wealthy, we certainly all had financial flexibility. I never once saw recruiters at my high school. The military targets poor schools where students have few options for their post-high-school lives. They offer what seems like a great opportunity: the chance to earn money for college. Ten years ago, I might have agreed that this is a good option for many students. They go to boot camp, put in a few years of service, and then go to college for free to pursue their dreams. But, today, I cannot in good conscience encourage any of my students to sign up. They will have to go to war. Some of them will die.

I certainly do not mean to detract from or disrespect those who have chosen to serve in the military. These people believe in what they are doing and exemplify bravery. But, the idea that many new recruits feel they have no other options because of poverty is not fair. No one should be enticed to serve and die simply because they are poor.