I’ll tell you what to do with $25

About 10 years ago (perhaps not that long, but it feels like it), I did something really stupid. I gave $25 to the Kerry campaign. It was right after he hooked up with Edwards, when many of us were dewey eyed with our liberal theologies and that nascent hope that W could be vanquished. I gave online. I clicked a box on an email. I was a reporter at the time, so I probably shouldn’t have done it.

More recently (five years ago? Who knows, everything gets cloudy when you move to a foreign country and politicians start campaigning from the crib), I contributed $25 to Barack Obama. A volunteer called me on the phone. She was nice. I respect people who sacrifice their personal time for a cause they believe in. She said uplifting stuff about social justice. White girls are a sucker for that line. She knew it.

*Note to men: If you ever want to get a progressive girl into bed, all you have to do is tell her that you love "social justice and giving sight to the blind." You’ll have to dig up a few articles from The Economist or The New Yorker to back it up. It’s not that hard.

Anyway, because of my past foolishness, I have to delete email campaign contribution requests from Obama every day.

Will I call a friend? No.

Will I join a canvassing party? I live in Korea. And thank god I do because before moving here I was already broke from my meager reporter’s salary and high oil prices.

Hillary doesn’t even try to stalk me. I must’ve been "tagged" early as an Obama supporter. This is what I got Saturday:

"Senator Clinton has decided to use her resources to wage a negative, throw-everything-including-the-kitchen-sink campaign. John McCain has clinched the Republican nomination and is attacking us daily. But I will continue to vigorously defend my record and make the case for change that will improve the lives of all Americans."

When aren’t politicians waging a negative campaign? You all claim to promote changes that will improve the lives of all Americans.

Instead of giving your $25 to put more ads on CBS, why not send it to 826CHI, a literacy program in Chicago (find it online at www.826chi.org). Then take W’s rebate check and save it. Invest it yourself rather than handing it over to the Man to buy more shit that you don’t need. But keep $25 and get a box of Leffe, or a case of cab sauv if that’s your thing. You’re going to need it to get through this political war.